A different kind of blog worthy day

Do you know why this is a different kind of blog worthy day? It's because nothing crazy happened! Okay, Kara slammed the door on Micah's finger; and Micah did climb onto the toy cabinet, get to a plant, and make dirt rain on Kara's head. Still, the 3 OS and I remarked at how "good" the WTs were today. I almost took the twins' temperatures to make sure they were well.

I had a glimmer of hope today that we might just survive twin toddlerdom. Then again, the WTs might be lulling me into a false sense of security to spring a trap on me tomorrow. I put nothing passed them...would you????

Maybe I should invest in Depends...

So I made the mistake of using the bathroom again while the WTs were roaming free and no one else was around. I was gone briefly. I mean it, I didn't even bring a book with me. Oops, sorry, too much information. Anyway, when I opened the door to the bathroom, I was hit with an unmistakable sign of trouble...silence. My first thought was to check the front door. No, the child lock we placed on it was still intact. Gate to the stairs? Undisturbed. Hmmm, the kitchen! Here is what I found.I wish this was a scratch and sniff picture so you can smell what I smelled. The picture is not as impressive, but when you combine soy sauce with an emptied bottle of peppermint extract, it is an assault on the senses. When you look at this next picture, keep in mind that peppermint extract is 89% alcohol. And Kara is holding the empty bottle. I think I got intoxicated while cleaning up the mess. The smell was so potent even after the clean-up, that I had to open a window and run a fan so we could eat in the kitchen. This kind of mess is pretty standard around our house. What happened a few hours later is not so standard. Princess Kara came running in to alert me about some great danger to the kingdom.

The alert was warranted. Rogue knight Micah was depositing land mines for unsuspecting victims. Yes, there was my child doing something none of my others have ever done. He was pantless, diaperless, and heedless to how grossed out his mother would become when she caught him. I won't go into detail in case some of you are eating, but suffice it to say that "carpet cleaning" became part of the day's agenda.

To follow-up on my microwave saga, I did buy a new microwave that works wonderfully. Two words on the box really clinched the sale for me. Included in the microwave's features is.....a "child lock." Think I might need that???????

Short and quick (like the twins)

It's late, I'm tired, this is going to be short and quick.

This morning the twins and I went for a walk (I walked, they rode in their double stroller chariot) with my friend Pam and her doggie. And because this is me and I had the WTs, something had to happen. The stroller broke. Thankfully we were close to our destination when it happened. I was crossing the street, hit the little curb thing to get onto the sidewalk, and crack! One of the front wheels broke inward. This particular wheel had been repaired before, so it was already weakened.

Pam two-wheeled the stroller back while I had a twin in each hand. That was slow going. Micah wanted to stop constantly, and Kara was flipping out because Pam was taking her beloved mode of transportation away (When we were in China, she'd cry when we took her out of the stroller. We would call it the "empress' chariot.")

After the traumatic walk, I took the WTs to the grocery store (you're right, I am not a bright person). I loaded the WTs into one of those "cool carts" which is a cart attached to a plastic car. I don't know what the turning radius is on that thing, but maneuvering it was like taking the Suburban through an obstacle course designed for a VW bug.

I thought I'd try to be considerate to my fellow shoppers by keeping the Behemoth as far to the right as possible, making it easy to pass us. What I didn't think about was that it also put all the merchandise within arm's length of the WTs. Thank God (literally) we were not by glass bottles when I discovered this. I looked down and saw that Micah had piled an assortment of plastic containers into the car. A little while later, I caught sight of something flying through the air. It was Micah's shoes. Kara had removed her socks and shoes, but had been kind enough to just drop them out of the car instead of launch them. I cut the shopping trip short.

I let the WTs play outside. They found water and rocks mixed together. When I discovered them, Kara was shoeless, sockless, pantless, and carrying a load. I cut their outside play short.

Micah is into head butting. It hurts.

Micah played post office today by "mailing" three DVDs into the DVD player. I found them stuck underneath the drawer.

Micah loves playing "recycling truck" and "garbage truck." He decided to get realistic by dumping out our garbage can onto the carpet.

This time home alone with the twins...not so short and quick.

Home alone with the WTs

Are you amazed that I am blogging so often? I have a little bit of extra time for the next few days as the 3OS are on a ski trip with their Dad. So I'm home alone with the WTs. This is quite an adjustment as it has been a long time since I've had just two toddlers. And they were not wonder twins. With whom I'm all alone. Me and them.

I decided to do something every day with the WTs to pass the time. Today we went to Pump-it-Up with my friend Rebecca and her daughter. Pump-it-Up is basically a warehouse that contains a number of inflatable jumpy houses and play structures. The WTs had a great time, especially on the 17 ft. slide. Micah would climb to the top, scream at the top of his lungs like a girl, and then say, "One...two....one-two!" Then down the slide he'd fly. It was amazing to watch Kara scrambling around, looking like a future rock climber. I kept thinking that this is the same girl who six months ago could barely walk, and when she did, looked like a drunken sailor.

After Pump-it-Up, I took the twins to the store to buy a microwave. Yes, we were still without one, and I was tired of living in the stone ages. The twins did well at the store. Okay, "well" is a relative term. So a few things got thrown out of the cart, and boxes were being opened by teeth, but we left with everyone's limbs intact and Mom's sanity mostly there. Hey, we left with a microwave!

I had to hold myself back from building an altar in front of that wonder machine. I've been reheating leftovers in the oven for the last few months, so using the microwave was like putting my food in a time machine. The WTs thought it was a new television or something. When the light would come on, and they could see the food twirling around, they would burst out in laughter.

This mirth continued during dinner...at the expense of their mother. The WTs were eating their dinner, and I was cutting more veggies (Kara is a veggie addict). When I came to the table, Kara was without her fork. When I asked her where her fork was, she showed me her hand and said, "hand." Uh huh, she knows what a fork is. She's trying to throw me off the trail. I ask again where her fork is and she puts her hands up and says, "Fork. Go?" I tell her, "You're the one who should know where your fork went. Where is it?" "There," she says, pointing to the floor. It is not there. Micah gets in on the act. "There," he says, pointing to a different spot on the floor. No fork. Kara reaches behind her back, so I think that she put her fork behind her. I reach behind, feel underneath her, and finally pull her out of her chair to see if it's under her. It is nowhere to be found! I am positively flummoxed by this point (isn't that a great word?).

I give up, thinking that Kara might have flung the fork somewhere. I assume I'll find it sometime before the WTs go to college. I sit down to eat my dinner, and that's when the victory chant began. It went something like this:

Micah: "Sopo do chachi do"

Kara: "Bada" (accompanied by a fist pump, no kidding)

Micah: "Nobo dado sasey"

Kara: "Bada" (accompanied by another fist pump)

Here is the translation:

Micah: "Hail Wonder twin power, we have triumphed over the one who oppresses us."

Kara: "Hail Wonder twin power!" (fist pump)

Micah: "We have conquered, we the magnificent, the sublime."

Kara: "Hail Wonder twin power!" (fist pump).

Yes, they had gotten me. I did eventually find the missing fork. When I took Micah out of his high chair after dinner, there was the fork. Somehow Kara had "passed" the fork across the table to Micah, who then decided to put it under that chunky monkey rear of his.

BTW, my wonder machine has to be returned. It decided to run itself. It had a mind of its own. Just like two other beings in this household.

Here are the victors:

It sounds like a blog-worthy day

"It sounds like a blog-worthy day." That's what my husband said as I described my day. I have a lot of those, but do not blog as often. This is because by the time my blog-worthy day is over, I'm so tired that I fall asleep at the computer trying to type about my day. Uh, kind of like I almost just did.

To help move this along, I'm going to write this blog entry as a "Dick and Jane" story (you know, those books we read long long ago). We'll call it, "Run, Mommy, Run." Let's begin.

(Full disclosure: I fell asleep at this point. I am continuing almost two weeks later from where I began.)

The sibes are at piano lessons.

"Fun, fun, fun" say the twins. "We will make Mommy run."

Uh oh, Micah has a red pen. Micah bites the pen.

Run, Mommy, Run! Get the pen!

Oh no, red ink is on the beige carpet!

Spray, Mommy, spray. Spray cleaner on the carpet.

Run, Mommy, run! The twins are in the dishwasher.

Down, Kara, down, do not stand on the dishwasher door.

Run, Mommy, run! Micah is getting the carpet cleaner.

Blot, Mommy, blot, get back to the stains. Stains turn pink.

"Clink, clink" Mommy hears.

Run, Mommy, run, Micah has two glasses from the dishwasher.

Micah is making music. He is clinking the glasses together.

Mommy stops the music.

Run, Mommy, run, Micah is getting the spray bottle you left on the floor!

Duh, Mommy, duh, do not leave spray bottles where twins can get them.

Run, Mommy, run, the twins have spilled a full cup of water on the floor.

Splash, splash, go the twins.

Wipe, Mommy, wipe, before twins fall down.

Slip, Kara, boom, Kara slips on the floor goes boom.

Run, Mommy, run, Micah tries to go out the front door.

No, Micah, no, do not try to escape.

Mommy looks at the clock. She wonders if it is bedtime yet.

No, Mommy, no, it is only 2pm.

Sigh, Mommy, sighs. Seven more hours to go.

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So tell me, would you be brave enough to go against these two????

By the way, I love reading your comments!

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This was the scene I came upon when I had the audacity to take a quick trip to the bathroom. I did not know what they had gotten into, and at first glance I thought we were having an ant infestation.

Upon further investigation, coupled with the behavior that accompanied my unnanounced presence, I realized what was covering the floor.

Yes, they had attacked and prevailed over the bulk bag of chocolate chips that had been sitting undisturbed on the kitchen table. Of course once they saw me, they began furiously scooping handfuls of chips and consuming them. That's why you see chocolate oozing out of the male WTs mouth. And like any mom worth her salt, my first inclination was to grab the camera. Welcome to my world people.

My day in bullet points

• Get to church by 9:30, with kids – frenetic
• Lead Bible study while someone else is on twin duty – Ahhhhhhhhh
• Run to get pizza for lunch meeting – Wait for pizza advertised as “hot and ready”
• Lunch meeting with WTs present – Interruptions galore, one WT’s diaper goes atomic
• Get home, twins take very short nap – Cruel and unusual punishment
• Get Kara from nap. Kara is sitting on a desk with brown stuff on her hand. She’s crying about it. The nerve! – Bath with lots and lots of soap
• Warm up leftovers for dinner – Pioneer days again, still no microwave. Takes many minutes.
• Catch Micah at DVD player trying to close player with three DVDs stacked on top of each other – I think I took flight to get there before the drawer closed.
• While I am lecturing Micah (who only looks like he’s listening, but is strategizing his next move), Charis comes in to announce that Kara is missing her pants. I tell her not to interrupt unless, AS IF, Kara is doing something outlandish like taking off her diaper (which she has never done before). Charis says (with a rather satisfied grin), “Well, she is.” I run into the next room and think I’m back in Beijing. Bare baby bottom! I sweep her up and take her to the bathroom to Americanize her.
• I finish up with Kara, walk into the kitchen and see that Micah has…okay I have to be honest here. This happened a week ago and I really can’t recall exactly what Micah did. This is because Micah and Kara have done SO MANY OTHER THINGS since then. I do know that whatever happened involved a really big mess with food, and Micah having the audacity to say “Oh no,” and put his marshmallowy hands on the squishy cheeks on either side of that cherubic face. This particular maneuver is really unfair as it’s hard to deliver a serious “No No” when you’re suppressing a laugh.
• Somehow the day ends with everyone intact. I think my head might have touched the pillow before I fell asleep. I just don’t remember. After all, it was a week ago.