My chain smoking cannibalistic empress has a birthday

Kara is two! She spent a pretty normal day (normal taking on a completely different meaning now) unaware of the significance of this birthday. It's hard to believe we've been home for a little over two weeks. So what's happened over these two weeks? Lots! Too much to include in this post since, as usual, it is getting very late and smart people are in bed already and I am not a smart people.

We have taken her to the dentist to see about her stained teeth. They are much better after consistent brushing, so the torture is paying off. The dentist was able to clean the top four before Kara started to fuss. He recommended we use "Topol" toothpaste, which is for smokers (hmm, so is that why her growth is stunted?).

We have been dealing with her aggression toward Micah, the aggression coming as a surprise to us. He is starting to fight back and we now have the battle to become the alpha twin and achieve tot domination. They have very different methods of warfare. Micah goes in covertly, attacks, and then beats a hasty retreat. Kara does the "shock and awe." She goes at it fully, those noodle arms flailing trying to hit the intended target. Her most deadly weapon: her teeth. Now in all fairness, if I had a life-size marshmallow walking around me all the time, provoking me, I might take a bite too.

Things have gotten better and they seem to, on occassion, enjoy each other's company. Micah has learned to say "Kah-ra" in a cute sing songy way. He will also walk over to her and hand her her water cup, though the skeptic in me is sure he is laughing internally, knowing he has backwashed in her cup. I did catch them high fiving each other in the hallway one time (I think that might have been after they figured out how to turn on the dishwasher).

Lots more has happened, to recap: I accidentally shaved the side of James' hair; we left Micah outside alone everyone thinking the other had him; I dropped and broke my China (made in Japan) pepper shaker next to Kara causing her to sneeze the rest of the day; I took all five to the library (really bad move, not recommended for the faint of heart) and got my first "wow, are these all your kids?" comment; went for her first check-up and had it confirmed that, yes indeed, she is a little peanut; not counting the same people coming twice, we have had 43 guests in our house since we came back from China.

Ah yes, life at its new normal. Embrace the chaos is my new mantra. That and, "Life is short, eat dessert first." What words of wisdom.

The Dinner Quest

It's 1:15am, I need to go to bed, but I just had to write about "The Dinner Quest."

I had to get the older three fed and out the door to catch their ride to their karate lesson. As they were starting their dinner the wondertwins awoke and needed to be fed as well. I got everyone seated and started working on my dinner. It was a salad. Just a salad. You know, lettuce and stuff. I started at 6pm.

The 3 OOs (3 older ones) finshed eating and left, leaving me alone with the WTs. So began the game I called "The Dinner Quest." Here's a condensed version of how it was played:

-Mom starts making salad. Go ahead two spaces.
-Male WT decorates the floor with an unfinished plate of pasta with marinara sauce. Go back two spaces.
-Mom cleans up and cuts snap peas for salad. Go ahead one space.
- Mom is attacked by the "cling-ons," one on each leg. Both crying. Lose a turn.
-Mom bribes WTs with cups of little cookies. Mom puts cups on opposite sides of the room to keep WTs from getting each other's cookies. Mom must stay in room as WTs find that the other's cookies are way better. Reverse direction.
- Mom gets WTs to play with cars. Jump ahead three spaces.
- Mom must interrupt tissue frenzy. Little bits of tissue are decorating the floor and being eaten. Lose two points.
- Mom approaches salad making area. Male WT grabs a full cup of water that one of the 3 OOs left behind. Water spills everywhere. Male WT spreads water on the table. Female WT is under the table participating in water painting. Female WT's pants are soaked through. As Mom goes to change her, the senses are assaulted by toxic waste smell. The one person Hazard materials team must spring into action. Do not pass go, do not collect $200.
- WTs start playing with stuff. Mom hears the shoe cabinet open and shoes hitting the floor. Mom pretends she doesn't know what is happening. Salad proceeds. Go ahead five spaces.
- Mom sees Cheerios flying like confetti. Mom intercedes and reads books to WTs. Mom referees boxing match between WTs. Mom is really hungry and thinks often of her salad.
- 3 OOs come home. Female OO needs help with shower. WTs freak out as Mom goes upstairs leaving #2 OO to watch WTs. It does not go well. Go back two spaces.
- 3 OOs have popcorn as a snack while they watch their video. WTs want some. Mom thinks that will buy time. WTs fight over popcorn. WTs need water after eating popcorn. WTs fight over cups of water. WTs want to sit on Mom's lap...one on top of the other. WTs crush popcorn and make snow out of it. Lose 5 points.
- Mom must get WTs ready for bed, put them to bed, and stay with female WT until she falls asleep. Female WT does not want to sleep. Mom would like to sleep, but she is too hungry. Go back to start.
- Children call Father to say goodnight. Mom gets the phone to talk to Father just as she is sitting down to eat. Mom tells Father about her day. Father tells Mother he will be gone almost the entire day tomorrow.
- Mother eats salad at 10:30pm. Mom washes salad down with a caramel brownie.
-Game over.

Wonder twin power, activate!

Sunday, 10:30pm

Home sweet home! I can't tell you how wonderful it is to be home. As soon as we arrived at SFO we felt the difference. As we waited in a long line to go through our first stop in the airport, someone bumped me ever so slightly with her bag. Immediately she apologized. I looked at her with what I am sure was a completely perplexed expression as I tried to comprehend what just happened. Wait, you just apologized for bumping into me? And you assumed I spoke English? What I said was, "Oh, no problem at all." What was coursing through my veins was "God Bless America, Land that I love!!!"

The two flights went extremely well. We did have a good amount of time to kill at the Beijing airport, but Kara decided that she really enjoyed pushing the cart that had our carry-ons so we let her. We walked all over the airport hoping to wear her out for the 11 hour plane ride home. Praise God from whom all blessing flow, she slept for 6 hours! We were amazed and wished we could have slept that much. She had her own seat so we laid her down with her head on me and her feet on James. It was hard to move around, but she was sleeping so all was well with the world.

Judy met us with the three older kids at the airport while Micah was home with my folks. Wow, was it super to see them all. They of course looked like the grew by leaps and bounds, and Micah's new nickname is "pounds." Kara went to the older ones immediately, no doubt thinking the empress now had even more servants. She divides her time evenly between them to grace them with her presence.

Micah liked Kara immediately and might have been thinking, "Ha, ha I now have a minion." He'd point to her and laugh with a kind of "Ho ho ho" laugh. At one point he got behind her, put those marshmallow arms around her and put his head down to give her a hug. She pretty much ignored him. At one point Micah was sitting on my lap and Kara was trying to get between us. Micah looked at me with a very concerned look and said. "Oh!" (as in "Oh my, what does she think she is doing? I could crush her.").

The good old supply and demand principle works to my advantage. There is one mama, so when that one mama is busy she becomes important. At one point I had a kid on each hip which is no easy task. My back may never forgive me. Kara has called me "Mama," but I know that does not have real meaning yet. It probably means "Mama caregiver who gives me food."

Sorry to those who never watched "Superfriends" as you haven't been getting my Wondertwins references. The characters are a brother and sister who say "Wonder twin power, activate! And then they can become different animals or beings. Well our Wondertwins (WTs) have activated and become beings that have superspeed and invisibility (though a particular odor will often give away their positions). At one point I opened the refrigerator to get something and one of the WTs was instantly at the door taking out salad dressings. I extricated the bottles from the hands and moved that WT. I turn around and the other WT is climbing into the fridge getting something else. By the time I moved that one, the salad dressing were being attacked again. I know you are all laughing with glee. Make that heartily laughing with glee.

We did discover that the tough one out of the two is Miss Empress. I wish I knew how to say, "Don't beat up on your big little brother" in Chinese. Micah is the softie. The first time Kara cried (when alas, she did not get what she wanted) Micah looked very distressed. He looked back and forth at Kara and me with his bottom lip protruding farther and farther out. Finally he moved over to her and patted her on the head. He got high praises for being so kind, and got a little too enthusiastic about the pats so we had to put an end to the sympathetic actions so Kara would not sustain brain trauma.

This is NOT to say that they do not do battle over things. Goodness gracious no, what a ridiculous thought. They have tug-of-wars and will each look at me with the "Aren't you going to do anything?" look. So if any of you have suggestions on effective ways to teach a one-year-old and a two-year-old who is developmentally a one-year-old who does not know English how to share, bring them on. Yes, yes, more hearty laughing.

Quick answers to some questions: No jet lag; she's sleeping well after the first night (cried on and off); she's sleeping in our room for now; haven't started school yet; she eats well still, but not as much.

Looking forward to you all meeting her, she met many the first day we were home. Our community group descended feeding us and supplying us with breakfast foods (between them, Judy, and my folks our fridge is stocked). At church today I lost track of the number of people who Kara shmoozed.

New motto in our household: Divide and conquer!

I can see clearly now…

I can see clearly now…
Thursday (can it be true?) 9:30pm

Today was yet another free day. As I said we (okay I wanted, James did not like the thought of going back out into the fat burning heat) wanted to explore a little more. We went to another market and saw a lot of the same things and some different things. There was a huge variety of mushrooms (again, perhaps some made it into Mr. Dang's happy tea), some tiny, others very large. Lots and lots of fungi. There were tiny pink dried roses that had a sign that said: "Effect: Goes to the spot, to make water, the young person." Hmm, makes you younger? Helps you go to the bathroom? Sometimes there were pictures (I guess they're advertisements?) that let us know what things were. Next to a huge bag of shriveled things was a picture of a frog, so I am assuming Kermit and his relatives stayed out in the sun too long and were now being sold as food.

Another big commodity seems to be deer bones with hooves still attached. We also saw "snake like a stick" which were snakes that were perfectly straight and displayed upright like pencils in a can. There were also bags and bags of worms that (we've been told) essentially grow grass on their backs once you take their heads off. I have no way of verifying that information. The day's most unusual savory fare: little scorpians in a tub. That seems like one dangerous delicacy.

The market was huge and went down a number of streets. We hit one section that specialized in things for pets and also sold fish, turtles, etc. to go into aquariums. We took some video of some albino frogs. There were also puppies, kittens, birds, and rodents of various kinds. I saw a lady buy the cutest puppy and was aghast when "plop" she put it into a plastic bag. I thought, "Please tell me that is not tonight's dinner." Much to my relief, she held the bag open to make sure the puppy could breathe. Who knows, maybe she'd be horrified if she came to America and saw ladies putting puppies into purses! Apparently there is a section nearby that sells animals to eat which we didn't see. If I were an animal on the border between those two sections, I'd be mighty concerned.

The street we were on led us underneath the Holiday Inn and it was as if we went through a time machine. When we crossed to the other side of the hotel we entered what looked like the Times Square of Guangzhou. For as far as we could see there were new shops and lit signs and Chinese disco music blaring out of shops. It was pretty wild. We walked down a ways and went down a side street and boom, we were back into "old" China.

A few more interesting features of Guangzhou: Because the middle of the island is well manicured and surrounded by old buildings, we would regularly see professional photographers. Sometimes they were taking pictures of very European looking models, more often it was of brides and grooms. Apparently it is very common to take pictures in full wedding gear before the wedding so the pics can be displayed at the wedding.

Off the island we would see lots of what I called "flat bed bikes." They are bikes that have a flat bed for hauling things. It's amazing the amount of stuff they can carry. One guy had about 50 cases of drinks he was transporting. These are hearty people. Oh yes, back on the island the men in our group took great delight in seeing some very hearty women. We were told to "take notes" from ladies (and there are a lot of them) that are hauling cement. It's amazing how brave these men can be when we are not controlling whether or not they get fed.

We had a fun time off the island, but Kara was slumped as far as a child could be in her stroller. If she could, she would have melted her way out of there. And as we were leaving, just to complete my trip here, I was treated to a full baby moon.

I met a very sweet lady named Jenny who owns a store on the island. Her prices were by far the cheapest so I started telling others in our group about her. She was very appreciative and kept giving me free things for giving her business (I went into her store at least four times). The shops here try to be all service shops so you can get diapers and souvenirs in the same place (and sometimes food). Competition is fierce around here, so I know Jenny really appreciated the referrals I gave. I got to know her family a little and she has a son named Michael. I've seen him several times and never noticed how he was dressed. Until today. Remember how I said that even though Kara would be dressed in lavender, people would still ask if she was a girl or boy? Well as I was returning the stroller Jenny let me borrow, in came Michael. I definitely noticed what he was wearing today. He was looking quite fancy in a white dress with cute animals and bugs and flowers. To complete his ensemble, he was sporting pink sandals. Ah ha, I said. Now I get it, it's all so clear to me. I will take offense no more.

We have a very long day ahead of us tomorrow. We meet Shiyan at 5:30am to begin the first leg of our flight. Our flight from Guangzhou leaves at 8am and will arrive in Beijing at 11am. The next leg starts from Beijing at 4pm and arrives in SF at 12:40pm. It's a 10 ½ hour flight. Which is really long. And we have a toddler with us. Pray for us.

Once we get home we'll have a "lock down" day on Saturday on which we will focus on our kids and getting back to "real life" (like laundry and grocery shopping). We are excited to have you meet Kara, but we're asking for no visitors or phone calls on that day (just that one day and then we are fair game). We'll be at church on Sunday so we'll see many of you then.

Many many thanks for all the love and support you've shown us over the last almost five years. Thank you to Judy (and Rob) who has allowed us to be here with no worries about our kids. Thanks to my parents for taking the kids for a weekend at my dad's peril (that's another story). Thanks to all who helped Charis during wedding weekend and shuttled the kids around (especiallly Shrouts and Kristin). We are so blessed to have the family, immediate and extended that we do.

Thanks to everyone who has faithfully followed the blog. Sorry we didn't post more pictures, but we couldn't quite get things to work. I will continue the blog when we get home, but can pretty much guarantee that I won't be posting every day. I think I will be a wee bit busy. However, I have the distinct feeling that I will have more stories to tell. After all, we may be ending this particular adventure, but the journey has just begun.

Much love,
Julie

Flies and worms and bare bottoms, oh my!

Flies and worms and bare bottoms, oh my!
Wednesday 10pm

This morning all the Bethany families got together to take the famous "red couch" pictures. Usually you put all the babies on one of the red couches at the White Swan to take pictures. Since our group is so big, there was no way to put all the kids on one couch and stay sane. We decided to take pictures according to the province from which they came. There we were, the parental paparazzi, jockeying for position to get a good shot. We also took pictures by family, then moms with kids. Kara was great throughout, though she tended as always to wander around when it wasn't our turn. A common phrase I'd utter is, "I lost my kid." Then I'd see her working the room as usual. If she came to someone who didn't notice her right away, she'd stand in front of that person, swaying back and forth with arms swinging as if to say, "Please notice my cuteness."

We moved to take a group picture in front of the waterfall. Well, Kara had decided she'd had enough of this modeling stuff. She wanted to climb up and down the stairs. My guess is that she never climbed stairs in the orphanage. It is not a pretty sight to watch her do it. As the families assembled to take the picture, there was my daughter looking like a lavender Gollum (if you are not a Lord of the Rings fan, just think of a cross between a mongoose and a monkey) in her traditional Chinese dress climbing the stairs. I scooped her up to take the group picture and that was it. There was only one howler monkey in the group and her last name ends in Froisland.

After the pictures we decided to explore and go off the island (as opposed to "off the wall" which was what Kara was doing during the photo session. We will preserve that photo to be taken out at convenient times.). For a little while we walked with a family in which one of the ladies in the family had been one of the first babies to be adopted through Holt (a very well known adoption agency). She had been adopted from Korea and was here to support her niece's adoption. She actually knows James' Uncle Tim and Aunt Rhoda by name through a Mennonite paper for which Aunt Rhoda writes.

We wandered into an outdoor market that sold lots of dry goods. It was very difficult to determine exactly what some of the things were. We saw some small dried flowers which we think are to be used for tea (probably not as good as Mr. Dang's tea… I realized it is Dang not Wang. They rhyme, it was an easy mistake.). Someone tried to sell me some kind of root, I have no idea what it was. Some of the more exotic (for us) things that were being sold were (all dried): large dead flies (I get a lot of those at home); snakes, something that looked like mini-horseshoe crabs; worms; and seahorses. You could get little seahorses or big seahorses, there were a whole lot of seahorses. Stall after stall had the same things being sold and available in large quantities. I found the whole thing fascinating.

When we crossed the bridge to get off the island, it felt like we were in Beijing again. Bare bottom babies once again were the height of fashion (I'll take them any day over the frightful sight from yesterday!). I also found myself having to go ting bu donging all over again. In addition, we got plenty of looks from people passing by. We're going to explore again tomorrow since it is our LAST FULL DAY IN CHINA!!!!

Kara is such a different girl than the one we picked up over two weeks ago. There are times in which I miss that really quiet complacent girl, since I have anything but that now. Kara is getting herself in shape to do battle with her competition. She enjoys throwing pity parties by making all kinds of noise and squirming around on the floor. When she realizes no one is coming to her party, she quits. Unfortunately it can take a while before she quits. Today as we were leaving to go to dinner with friends, she decided to throw herself a full blown pity extravaganza right in the hallway. This was something to behold. She was laying on her back and started to show off her swimming skills by doing what amounted to the backstroke in the hallway. As impressed as we were with her aquatic skills being demonstrated in a hotel hallway, she was swimming the wrong direction so we had to put an end to it.

We still have twice daily torture sessions which we think are paying off. Her teeth are looking a little better. Her walking is much better and she has picked up speed (usually when we are trying to catch her). She has learned to "high five," shake hands, and blow kisses. We have her quite conditioned so that anytime the computer is on, she'll want to climb into one of our laps and then she'll start waving. See, that's why we don't have pets, we have children to entertain us.

Two families left today, more will leave tomorrow and we will leave Friday. Supposedly there will be 35 adoptive families on the plane going from Guangzhou to Beijing. See, we're going to take over the world. It's bittersweet to be going our separate ways, but all of us have been ready for some time to go home. We have met some amazing families who we hope will be lifelong friends. Our friends the Faulkners just sent over an ice cream sundae which I was walking around calling "my precious" (sorry, another Lord of the Rings reference). Their daughter, Sarah, has offered her babysitting services to us if we pay for transportation. She lives in Indiana. That'd be one expensive date.

Here are a few things I am looking forward to in getting home:
1. Real hugs and kisses from my kids, friends and family.
2. Watching Kara and her wonder twin unite (either that or engage in mortal combat, probably both)
3. Living in 2700 square feet of space instead of approximately 500.
4. Being able to brush my teeth with the water that comes out of the tap
5. Chocolate chip cookies.(homemade of course)
6. Cars staying in one lane at a time
7. Having the right of way when crossing the road
8. Babies in diapers
9. Being able to go outside and not feel like I need another shower after 5 minutes
10. People assuming I speak English.
Etc., etc., etc.

One funny story to share before I sign out for the day: A family who has a four-year-old said that their daughter was starting to relax around them so they started playing "peek-a-boo" with her. They'd be playing around and when they'd say "boo!" she'd stand still and give them a worried look. After a little while she'd relax and they'd resume the game. Then the same thing would happen again, she'd freeze when they'd say "boo." Finally they realized that the word pronounced "boo" in Chinese means "no." So the poor girl was thoroughly confused. Later someone told them that instead of "peek-a-boo" you need to play "peek-a-bah."

One more day to go, but who's counting?

Sometimes it’s okay to swear

Sometimes it's okay to swear
Tuesday 11:59pm

Yes, yes, I am still keeping late hours. Some things don't change I guess. Today we had our oath taking ceremony. It was about a half hour ride to the consulate due to, surprise, surprise, traffic. The American consulate building is actually on the island right next to our hotel. It used to take 2 minutes to walk over there. After 9/11 the street was blocked off and now it takes about 7 minutes to go next door. However, due to the large numbers of adoptions that need to be processed, the visa center was moved off the island to some other building.

This was our last official act we had to carry out in China. We went into a big room and waited to be called to a window. We passed over our passports, signed a paper and then sat and waited. Pretty soon an official came out and spoke to us then administered the oath. In the oath we swore that all our forms pertaining to our child's visa application were true to the best of our knowledge. The entire room of us recited it at the same time. I guess we could have stood there and said "watermelon, watermelon, watermelon" the whole time and no one would have noticed. But I highly doubt that anyone who has jumped through the hoops we have is going to mess around now. After the oath we whooped it up and I saw some people crying. I thought, "Uh oh, did I just fail adoptive parenting 101? Was I supposed to cry?" What was going through my mind was, "Yipee! She's ours and we are that much closer to going home!!!" We receive her visa tomorrow which interestingly will be accompanied by a brown envelope. We are not supposed to open said brown envelope, nor should we open the clear envelope that houses the visa and brown envelope. I'm thinking we might be transferring top secret government documents. I guess I'll never know.

Earlier today we wandered around and visited a shop that was new to us. The shopkeeper (Mr. Wang) had had his original shop taken by the government as they needed to renovate the building he was in. This Mr. Wang grows his own tea and let us sample some. I am now spoiled for life. The tea (green and white) was delicious. If I were a tea connoisseur, I probably wouldn't balk at the $50 price tag attached to Mr. Wang's special brew. We were told that the tea is a panacea and can cure many things as it has medicinal herbs in it. Hmmm, perhaps that is why the tea is so good. We have a certain kind of medicinal herb that has been legalized in CA, perhaps there is a dash of that in his "special blend."

Mr. Wang's wife is my new BFF. She asked if we had any other kids and I told her we have four others. Her eyes widened and she asked if they were all adopted. I said no, they were all biological. She looked at my stomach, looked back at me, looked back at my stomach and said, "You do good job! You not look like you have four kids." Okay, she probably was lying but hey, I'll take it. She looked at James and said, "The tea is good for this" and pointed to his stomach. We can't figure out if she meant it was good for digestion or good for weight loss. James was not as flattered as I was. Go figure.

I saw something very unique on our drive back from the visa appointment. I've seen a lot of interesting things, but this takes the cake. As we were stopped in traffic, I looked over and there was a topless lady standing on the curb. I didn't mean to look twice, but I thought, "That can not be what I think that is. That is someone's grandma going au natural in the middle of the city." I think a crime was committed as she assaulted my eyes.

On a similar theme, there was an article in the newspaper about a woman who beat a police officer with her pants. He was going to confiscate her illegal rickshaw, so she took off her pants and started beating him with it. It said there was a hard object in the pants that brought the officer down. And we thought those things only happened in Berkeley.

This is a short post (amazingly) because it's so late. BTW, if you have been leaving comments on the blog I will enjoy them when I return. Our blog site is blocked here in China (as is Facebook, I am told) so I can't see my own blog. We are posting via e-mail to the blog and many thanks to Rick for cleaning up the formatting. Freedom of speech and information is a relative term. If you have asked any questions on the blog, e-mail them to us. The countdown continues!

Little boy…lavender?

Little boy…lavender?
Monday 10pm

Today Shiyan took our documents to the American consulate to apply for Kara's visa. Even though our adoption is complete, Kara will not be an American citizen until we touch down in SF. Hence, the need for a visa. We already have her passport which has her Chinese name on it. We will want to readopt her in the US so that we can have a birth certificate in English (I think she will thank us for that later). As an aside, Shiyan was passing out documents to the various families here and was calling out our kids' Chinese names. For the most part we could pick out our kids' names, but she read a particular name several times and no one responded. James was standing next to her, looked at the name and said it out loud "American style." Instantly someone said, "Oh, that's us." I also found out that Kara's given name was "Tong," but as a nickname was called "Tongtong."

We had a free day today; with the exception of checking to make sure we did not have a message from Shiyan on our phone. We were very glad to be without a blinking red light. That means that all our paperwork should be in order (please oh please oh please). We spent the morning talking to friends and to the kids. Wow, Micah looks absolutely gi-normous! We used to say he was like a "bull in a China shop." Now we'll have to say he is like a "bull in a from China shop." We keep apologizing to Kara that her wonder twin is a dirt-eating-Viking-sumo wrestler.

James stayed back with Kara during her nap and I roamed the island. I went out shopping for diapers and wandered into a little shop just to look around. The shopkeeper followed me around and we talked about the merchandise. I said, "Oh I'm just looking, I can come back tomorrow." Immediately I realized that I had probably initiated the haggle launch sequence, so I said, "I'm just shopping for diapers right now." Whew, okay, stand down. Haggle thrusters deactivated.

I must say that I do miss the good old Hypermart. The only place to get groceries on the island is 7-11. Yes, they do have a 7-11 here as well as a Starbucks and a Subway. Since we have a buffet breakfast and do dinner with our group, it has been our practice since we got to China is to have a really light lunch of something like yogurt and Cheerios. After all, even though I am bringing back a child, I don't need to look like I am bearing a child. Unfortunately it's slim pickings at the ol' 7-11. I can get various kinds of curry at 7-11, but no dice on the Cheerios.

Shiyan had arranged for our group to have a "Chinese meal" in which she would choose the dishes and we would pay a flat price. She assured us that she would be "conservative" in her choices. As we walked into the restaurant and looked at some of the seafood being sold outside (including lovely little eels that were slithering in a tub), I wondered what her idea of "conservative" was. I needn't have worried. The food was very good and closer to what we have in the states. Apparently because we are in southern China where many people speak Cantonese, the food we have is Cantonese which is what we have back home. Still, we have yet to see our traditional fare of "lemon chicken" or kung pao chicken." We also have yet to receive a single fortune cookie, which makes me suspicious as to the origin of that dessert. I can safely say we did not consume any pig's feet, ostrich kidneys, or sheep placenta soup as seen on some menus.

As much as we are looking forward to getting home, I will say I will miss being here. Not because of the hotel (okay, full disclosure – I enjoy having my meals cooked for me and I do like someone else making my bed), but because of the very unique community we are in right now. As I've said, everywhere you look there are adoptive families. We could have our own Chinese kid kibbutz. It is very easy to strike up a conversation with people when you know they are going through the same thing (with some variations) you are. We sometimes try to best each other with who has been waiting the longest. We win that match a lot, but have been definitely beaten by some. I imagine it is what it's like when veterans get together and swap war stories or moms get together and swap birth stories (in that we try to best each other to see who had the longest labor, I can win that one sometimes too…thanks a lot Micah).

Alright, confession time. I have been having a struggle with hair envy. Not envying it for myself, as I have plenty, but for my daughter. I have seen lots of little girls with lots of hair. Shiyan told us that she asked some orphanages not to shave the girls' hair in the summer because they were going to be adopted. Well apparently Beijing missed that memo, and someone put a #2 on an electric razor and went to town on my daughter's head. Consequently, we get asked if Kara is a boy or girl. Now mind you, the clothes I put on her would not be what I consider gender neutral nor should there be any gender ambiguity in their appearance. We still get asked that question and I am sure I look like I am either deaf or without sense as I look at the questioner, pause, look down at my daughter who is bedecked in a floral lavender outfit accented by lavender bows, look back at them with a "you have got to be kidding me" look, and say "girl." To which they act surprised and say "Oh! A girl! How nice."

Tomorrow the two planned events of the day are getting Kara another pair of shoes (sans squeakers) and a visit to the American Consulate to take an oath. That is a very important visit and if we are late, we will not be allowed in. That would be very bad indeed.

By the way, I saw the lady who I was "killing and taking her salary" from the other night. She looked quite well, so I said hello to her and said I would be back tomorrow (insert maniacal chuckle, followed by an emoticon happy face).

Mini-Micah has emerged

Mini-Micah has emerged
Sunday 11pm

In talking to many parents around here a common theme has developed. We all have kids that have a stubborn streak and want to exert their independence. Okay, yes that describes Kara's mother, but that is beside the point. With the kids feeling more comfortable with us they are starting to push the boundaries. We were told by Shiyan that the kids have lived a very militaristic lifestyle in the orphanages. Now that they have much more freedom, they are testing how far they can take it.

I just know that when we get home Kara and Micah are going to be in cahoots with one another to see what they can get away with. Kara has decided to get herself in trouble in the same area Micah gets in trouble: pulling things out of the wall socket. I'm convinced they are communicating telepathically. She also likes to play at bedtime. I was having a very difficult time (and was not successful) at keeping a straight face the other night when Kara was supposed to be going to sleep. First she would be playing with her feet, trying to rid herself of invisible toe jam. Then we would see feet coming out of her mini-crib (the hotel provides a small crib, if Micah were here he would have catapulted out of that thing long time ago…hopefully he doesn't send that message to Kara). Then both legs would come out. Then we'd see her sitting up with a blanket on her head. If she had toys in there we know they would go flying across the room. I don't know why, but our guide keeps looking at us when she talks about the "long and difficult journey home with your children." We went off the island today (I know all you "Lost" fans are already thinking of funny comments to make) to visit "Chen's Ancestral Hall" built during the Qing dynasty (1888-1894). Within the rooms of the "hall" are displays of folk art from around the country (ivory carvings, paper cutting, glass etching, wood carvings, embroidery, porcelain and pottery). The buildings themselves were amazing, and the art work was very impressive. I felt genetically inferior once again. Even though they were selling ivory works, there was a big sign that said you cannot take any ivory out of the People's Republic of China without permission from the government. We figured we are already going through a lot of trouble getting governmental approval to take a 21lb export out of the country, we'd best not push our luck.

After our visit to the Ancestral Hall, we went to a park that houses the very famous statue of five goats (which half our group thought was the "gold statue" instead of the "goat statue."). Apparently if you have a picture of you standing in front of the statue, everyone will know you were in Guangzhou. On another level of the park were other sculptures. Here is a bit of the explanation from the plaque: "The sculpture with the artistists technique of fiction and actuality expressing the mythology of the five rams in three pictures that is: "The God's Descent" "Giving Grain to the People" "Labour and Harvest." "It is so magnificently conceived and lively shaped making you feel that you was in the fairly tale." We got a picture in front of the statue which was undeniably a statue of five goats. The foliage was beautiful at the park and we would have loved to look around more, but frankly we were "sweating fat" and opted to go back to the air conditioned hotel, because you could "boil a kettle on my head."

As we gathered in a group this evening to go to dinner an older man came up to me and started speaking Chinese. I said my "Ting bu dong" twice and even "duibuqi" (I'm sorry) and he kept talking. Finally I called Shiyan over to talk to him. He wanted to know how much it cost to adopt Kara. He is from Indonesia and he has a relative that would like to adopt. Shiyan told him that no one from Indonesia can adopt from China because there is no agreement to do so between the two countries. He asked again about the cost. I told Shiyan to tell him that it "costs a lot." Then he asked where Kara was from. When Shiyan told him she was from Beijing, he said, "Oh, she must have been more expensive."

I've discovered I am an unintentional haggler. It is commonplace to haggle about the price of things, something at which I fail miserably. I just feel bad for the people trying to eke out a living which I was just telling some friends at dinner. We did do some shopping after dinner (paying full price) and James decided to head back to the hotel with Kara, regretting that he ever decided to go shopping with me. I paid for our stuff and started walking back to the hotel. On the way I saw a store that had t-shirts. There was a particular one I had seen that I wanted for Kara. I asked the storekeepers (who spoke very good English as do most shopkeepers on the island) how much for the shirt. The lady said "25 yuan." I said, "Hmm, okay well I'll come back tomorrow because I don't really have much money with me." Apparently I uttered some code phrase as the young man said "It is a little more expensive because it is well made." I said, "Okay, well I'll come back tomorrow." The lady said, "Okay, I lower the price. 20 yuan." I thought, "Wow, that was easy." I didn't expect the price to drop and really was planning on coming back the next day. I said, "If I come back tomorrow can I still have the shirt for 20 yuan?" She must have thought I was trying to be a hard sell because she then said, "Oh you killing me! You take my salary! Okay, 15 yuan. You tell your friends I give you good price and you come again." Not wanting to repeat this scenario again, I dug into my pocket and had the 15 yuan for the shirt (to calculate about how much things cost, you divide the amount in yuan by 7). After I paid, I stayed and chatted with the two shopkeepers who were very curious about me. The guy asked where I was from. I said, "California." He looked at me curiously and said, "California….United States?" I said yes, wondering if there was another California I did not know about. He looked at the woman and then asked, "So your parents were born in China?" I then explained my ethnic background and the whole "Ting bu dong" deal at which they laughed, thus confirming that my Chinese is pretty sad. So, what does Kara's t-shirt say? "Made in China."

Bye Bye Beijing, Hellooo Guangzhou!

Bye Bye Beijing, Hellooo Guangzhou!
10:30 pm Saturday

Gotta love a good thunderstorm. That is what we are experiencing right now here in Guangzhou. I think you are supposed to stay away from windows during a thunderstorm, but being the brilliant people we are we have been glued to the window watching the lightning.

A good chunk of yesterday was spent getting to Guangzhou. It was a three hour flight and a different experience flying with a toddler. If this was any indication of what will happen during our full day of flying on the 13th, please by all that is good in this world, start praying for us now. Okay, it wasn't horrible, just a bit difficult. Kara is a girl on the move, and she does not take too kindly to having to be strapped down. On the way home she will have her own seat, but this time she was belted onto our belt. This sweet older man sitting next to us (poor soul) was doing all he could to cheer her up. After being told "Ting bu dong" he started using a lot of hand gestures (nice ones I assure you) to give me parenting advice. He would also pick pictures out of his newspaper and hand them to Kara to look at. She would respond by crumpling up the pictures and throwing them to the floor (what gratitude). The man even made an airplane for her out of an airsick bag (my people use origami paper, but you use what you can in a pinch).

We were happy to leave Beijing, and Guangzhou is a very different place. On the negative side, it is very humid, even worse than Beijing. On the positive side, it is a very interesting place. We are actually on an "island" (really only separated from the mainland by a moat). A number of the buildings here were once owned by the British, so the architecture is different (though I will say that Beijing had some wonderful looking buildings) from what we've seen. Another feature of the island is that it has a church on it, something we have yet to see in our time here.

We are staying in the White Swan Hotel that is in a word, saawaaaaankyyyyy! In the drawer there is a yearbook of sorts that has pictures of various dignitaries who have visited the hotel. They range from Chinese governmental figures, to George Bush (Sr.) to Fidel Castro. There's another book that has photos of special foods the hotel has prepared for various important functions. There is a 20' (?) waterfall in the middle of the hotel and a number of huge jade statues. This must be a classy place as there is no clothesline in the bathroom (Bummer for us, though laundry is much cheaper here. We already took some things to be laundered. Souvenir shops advertise that they also handle laundry. And they all advertise a special of 50% off the usual price. ).

As fancy as the hotel is, it has the nickname of the "baby hotel." A number of different adoption agencies converge here. To quote Frodo Baggins in "The Two Towers", "We are not alone." Everywhere you look you see Chinese children with not so Chinese parents. Think of a bunch of Jameses with a bunch of Karas. Oh, sorry, was that scary? Just think of a bunch of Karas then. The businesses around the hotel cater to adoptive families and advertise as such. Unfortunately with the number of adoptions falling by about 50% since 2004, a number of the businesses have closed down. We found out that all adoptive families must come through Guangzhou because it is the only place in China that issues immigrant visas.

We got a lovely gift on behalf of the Mattel company since we are an adoptive family. We received Barbie in a box wearing a pink mini-dress and pink stilettos holding what is supposed to be an Asian child (or as a friend's son says, "A brown baby.". I think I'll pack that one away for Kara until she's too old to play with Barbies (Barbie fan I am not). Lest you think I'm being mean, the box does say "For ages 14 and over" and "This is not a toy."

Mattel has funded a room in the hotel in which preschool age kids can play. We went down there tonight and met the kind of people that make you think, "Wow, I am but a mere peon." This family has 13 children (one in heaven right now). They adopted 6 from Liberia (a number with special needs) and 2 from China (the one they adopted this time has a heart condition). And get this, they are a homeschooling family. I'm not worthy! I'm not worthy! Seriously though, we had a wonderful conversation and I agreed with Kitty when she said, "My soul feels refreshed."

We have been reunited with the other Bethany families and have been having a blast seeing all their beautiful kids. We had the kids' medical exam today which involved going through three "stations." It was busy and packed, but it was fun talking to the other families (I know shocking, me, talk?). When we went to the last station, we were unnerved when the doctor asked about Kara's diagnosis. We showed him that her diagnosis (given when she was 3 ½ months old) is "mental retardation." At that he got up and left. He came back, looked through some of our paperwork and left again. We thought, "This can not be good." When he returned, he was accompanied by Shiyan, our guide in Guangzhou. She translated for us as the doctor asked if we thought the diagnosis was correct. We said that we thought that she was developmentally delayed, but definitely not mentally delayed. Before she translated that to the doctor, we asked, "Is that okay to say?" To which she said, "Yes, the doctor thinks she is fine." Tsk, just fine???

We had a long meeting today to go over all the documents needed for Kara's visa. Nope, we are not out of the paperwork woods yet. The adoption is complete, but now we are dealing with immigration and lots of forms and documents (and moolah of course).

Tomorrow we do some touring around to a folk art museum and a park. We can't help but think of our kids at home right now and the wedding of friends that will occur in a number of hours. Charis is in the wedding, and we are sorry to be missing it. There was the offer to Skype us and let us watch the wedding, only we'd be doing that at 4:30am. As much as we love this couple, I think we will watch the video.

Six more days and counting down…

Oh, let me leave you with some quotes from a section of the China Daily newspaper titled "Better English."
1. "It's so warm that the dog is chasing the cat, but both are walking."
2. "Flies are falling down tired!"
3. "I am leaking!"
4. "It's raining fire!"
5. "It's so hot my tongue is hanging out."
6. "I am sweating like a chicken!"
7. "It is like a Turkish bath."
8. "You could boil a kettle on your head."
9. "It's hot enough to melt hell!"
10. "It's so dry the trees are following the dogs around."
and my favorite:
11. "I'm sweating fat!"

Genetically inferior and sprinkled with pixie dust

Genetically inferior and sprinkled with pixie dust
9:20pm Thursday

Our trip to the Beijing zoo was pretty uneventful. We saw the typical animals, with the exception of the pandas (very cute). The zoo was very crowded and I had to keep reminding myself that it is not rude here to bump into people and burst their personal space bubbles (more like dash the space bubble into a million pieces). Remind me when I get home not to act that way because I might decide to go all roller derby at the grocery store. That'd be bad.

In the early evening we took in a "Flying Acrobatic Show" which was very similar to a Cirque du Soleil. It was during that show that I determined that I am genetically inferior. People can do some amazing things. Kara amazingly slept through a good portion of it. When she awoke she watched the show, but became more interested in watching a little boy run up and down the stairs next to us. That's a Froisland kid for you, always keeping tabs on those of the opposite gender (which is a good thing).

It was at that theater that I had my first encounter with a "squat" toilet which flushed. I won't go into detail, but I will point out two things: 1) you can get proficient very quickly at something given the right motivation; 2) there are some things for which men are just more genetically suited.

After the show we came back to the hotel and then James, Kara, and I went to try out a new restaurant (it was Chinese in case you were wondering). Once we got inside we realized that this was a swanky place (to which you all are asking, "So what were you guys doing there?"). My backpack got its own chair. We got towels with which to wipe our hands before dinner. This was new: our napkins were placed on the table, laid flat, and our plates were put on top. Then we encountered the most unnerving part of the experience: helicopter servers. While we looked at the menu they hovered at our table. While we ate, they hovered nearby. If I picked up a dish to serve myself some more food, one of them would rush over and take the plate from me to place it back on the table and then orient the spoon handle to face us.

The menu was extensive and offered some very interesting parts of animals. Or sometimes you could get a whole animal. If you ordered a particular chicken dish, you'd get the whole chicken, head and all. One dish that I didn't order, but found intriguing was the "sashimi on Pringles." And from the picture it really looked like Pringle chips. We decided on a chicken dish which had no bones and a shrimp dish. I thought that was a safe bet until the shrimp came, whole shrimp, head, legs, tail, shell, the works. James asked one of the helio servers if we ate the whole thing, to which she nodded yes. I tried one like that and decided I had to Americafy the shrimp. I thought I'd wait until the servers weren't looking. But they were always looking, watching, waiting. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and like the good American Twinkie (you know, yellow on the outside, white on the inside) I am, I did my pseudo dissection of the shrimp. And then when only one server was buzzing nearby, I'd wipe my face really fast on the napkin that was laying on the table. It felt like I was wiping my face on the tablecloth, but I was going rogue by that point.

The formality of the environment was broken when Kara decided she wanted out of her chair. One of the servers picked her up and carried her off. Another server came and plucked Kara from her. Before you knew it, about five of the servers were "fighting" over her and Kara was being passed around like a hot potato (but in this case one you'd want to keep). She was eating the whole thing up of course. She has embraced this attention getting thing, so beware when we get home.

Today Kara was wearing the clothes she wore when we picked her up from the orphanage. I marvel at the progress she has made since the last time she wore those clothes only a little more than a week ago. She was an orphan with nothing when we got her, and now she is a daughter who will have all we can give (I reminded her of that today but she just wanted a cracker).

There is a great moment at the end of a live action movie of "Peter Pan." The Darling children have returned home and are reunited with their parents. The lost boys enter in and Wendy, Michael, and Peter ask if they can keep them all to which their parents answer "yes." As they are reveling in their new family, stodgy spinster Aunt Millicent watches the scene from the doorway. A boy appears next to her and is clearly upset. She asks, "What is the matter?" He says, "I lost my way and couldn't find the house, and now every one has a mother except me." At that moment Tinkerbell flies by and sprinkles pixie dust on Aunt Millicent. Aunt Millicent asks, "Is your name 'Lively?'" He says, "Yes, how did you know?" Aunt Millicent: "Because I am your mother." Lively (I think that is his name) asks, "How can you be sure?" To which she responds with a smile, "Because I feel it."

I am Kara's mom because I feel it. And oh, what a feeling!

Off to Guangzhou tomorrow, and one more week to home!

The no good very bad parental units

The no good very bad parental units
9pm Wednesday

Today we had a free day and spent most of the morning chatting with some of you fine folk. We didn't venture out until the afternoon when housekeeping came to clean our room. It was sprinkling when we left to visit our favorite haunt, Hypermart. As we approached the market it began raining and was coming down fairly hard. We enjoyed it as it was such a nice break from the heat (which in all fairness has come down and has gone from furnace heating oppressive to mildly uncomfortable), but we were pretty wet as we went into the market. As James and I were looking at something, a lady stopped, looked at our poor little wet waif, pulled a wad of paper towels out of her pocket (something I always keep on hand when shopping) and proceeded to wipe our daughter down. The lady didn't talk to us, just kept drying off the little empress. As she finished and walked away, I said thank you in Chinese and she either said "You're welcome" or "You are no good very bad parental units who just flunked Chinese parenting 101." I'm not really sure, because, well, I only look like I speak Chinese.

Speaking of Chinese parenting, we have been surprised at the ubiquitous bare baby bottom. At the store, bare baby bottoms. On the street, bare baby bottoms. At the Forbidden City, not forbidden bare baby bottoms. Either the bottoms are completely bare or are peeking through the "split pants" that many of the babies wear. We asked Joy to reveal the story behind this phenomena. She said that the older generation does not think that it is good for babies to wear diapers in this hot weather. They fear the babies will become overheated and will get diaper rashes. This is apparently a hot topic on the internet for young parents. The bottom line (I am so cracking myself up) is that because both parents often have to work, they rely on the older generation to care for their children while they are gone. Consequently the parents acquiesce and go along with it. And that's the naked truth, ar, ar.

The weather cleared up so we took a nice long walk to a park and then to a buffet for dinner. Very interesting buffet. They do have pizza there, but the toppings are quite unique. Some combinations are: beans and golden raisins; corn and pineapple; cranberries and some kind of meat. Some pizzas have mayo as the sauce. The buffet also has the distinction of being an "all the beer you can drink" place as well which made for some rather raucous patrons yesterday. There was a huge group of what looked like college aged kids drinking and smoking up the place (that's another thing that is hard to get used to, cigarette smoke everywhere). We were with the family who adopted the 7 –year-old. Along with the parents, two of his sisters came to China as well. One is in her early 20s, Jennifer, the other is 13, Sarah  (both very sweet young ladies). As we were getting set to leave, some of the guys were eyeing Jennifer and seemed to be goading each other on to do something. We decided to get out of there, before they uttered some bad pick-up line and embarrassed everyone involved. They started following us out, but Jennifer got ahead of them. Just as we were out of there, one looked at Sarah and said, "You are a very beautiful" then they elbowed each other and walked away. Oh boys will be boys no matter where you are.

A word about walking around busy Beijing, you are pretty much taking your life into your hands. It's not crime that is the issue, it is crossing the street. Pedestrians most resolutely do not have the right of way. It is amazing to watch cars come so close to peds. We had a bus pass way too close in front of us when we had the green "go ahead and walk guy signal." We've learned to be aggressive and to just start walking when it's our turn. I started uttering death threats with my eyes to oncoming traffic (in a really sweet peaceful fashion of course). Once we'd start across the street I would initialize ocular death rays. I'm sure I looked frightening. Hey, don't mess with Mama bear.

We came back and gave K a bath in the sink. She's so small we find that the sink functions just fine. She loves her baths. I think the water level goes down about 50% while she's in there. She splashes like crazy and finds it absolutely hilarious to watch her mom try to dodge the waves that emanate from the whirling water. I'm sure housekeeping wonders what in the world kind of hygienic routine we follow as they see all the water spots on the mirror. Those crazy foreigners!

Tomorrow it is off to the Beijing Zoo and an acrobatic show in the afternoon. That will be our last full day in Beijing, hurray! We fly out to Guangzhou on Friday. We are looking forward to seeing a new city, but even more it signals the last leg of our trip! And there's no ifs, ands, or butts about it (okay, I'm done, I promise!).

I wouldn't mess with that empress

I wouldn't mess with that empress
4pm Tuesday

Today we visited the Summer Palace that the royal families once used. Our guide told us the story of one empress who would give Hillary Clinton a run for her money (sorry if any of you are HC fans). This gal (who Joy referred to as "the dowager") was married to an emperor who died, leaving their four-year-old son to inherit the throne. Since he was too young to properly assume it, the dowager ruled in his place. The son was always sickly and died of TB before he could really begin to rule. His powerful mother continued to exert her power and chose a young person to become the next emperor. This guy wanted to enact reforms which the dowager was against. He was allowed to try and his efforts failed after 103 days. After that he was placed under house arrest until his death at age 31. His house arrest was not in any way comfortable. The windows and most doors were bricked up and he was not allowed outside. We saw where he was kept and he must have had a terrible existence. He did have a wife and concubine, but was not allowed to ever see them again. The scary dowager lady then appointed a seven-year-old boy to become the next emperor and then she died. Apparently it is this emperor that is depicted in the movie "The Last Emperor" which I am now interested in seeing. So there's your history lesson for the day.

I am thankfully feeling much better after my semi-comatose state yesterday. Without going into detail, let's just say that Montezuma can get his revenge in China too. Okay, you get the picture. I'm still a little light headed (enough with the air head jokes already, you people are so predictable!) and the tummy is not 100%, but definitely better.

We have discovered that many things are really cheap in China while other things really are not. A friend of ours had a cup of coffee the other day that cost $10. Our whole meal the other day which consisted of an entrée, a pot of soup, two bowls of rice and a coke, was about $9. If we wanted laundry done at the hotel (which we planned for as we were told that it'd be cheap here) it would be about $2 for one pair of underwear. I think it might be $10 for a shirt. Another family here just spent $100 on laundry. So we have made our own makeshift laundry mat in our hotel room. I had brought a little bottle of Dawn which is our dish soap and laundry soap. James discovered that what we are doing must be common, as he found a retractable clothesline in the bathroom.

One of our new favorite pastimes is reading people's shirts. It is very common to see people wearing shirts with English writing on it. Some of it makes sense, while other times it is a head scratching experience. The word "love" is a common word on shirts. A guy who took a group picture for us today had a shirt that said "Everyone love need." A few more entries in the fun shirt hall of fame: "Rock star RIP" (maybe it was supposed to be VIP?) "Go shop lovely sailors" and "Time flies so fast in busy daily life." Now before we can get all uppity, Joy says that when her friend travels she likes to take pictures of people's tattoos that have Chinese characters. According to Joy, some of the sayings are "very fun." So let's see, if you want to get a tattoo that says "Dragon slayer" in Chinese, would it really say "I'm a momma's boy?" Kara continues to live up to her name (which is Greek for Joy, for those of you who don't know). If I close my eyes to picture her, I can see her walking around laughing with her arms swinging back and forth. She has the most engaging smile and flashes it often. Her laugh is quite infectious and I defy you to not do the same when you hear it. A very common word people use to describe her is "beautiful" (maybe that's the only English word some people know, but hey we'll take it).

She is also becoming more of a female mini-Micah each day. She has discovered how to open and close cabinets and likes to pull down anything she can reach. She can also be very loud when she wants and her babbling has increased much to our pleasure. She can be very determined and tries very hard to get on the bed if I'm on it (why in tarnation she'd want to get on that thing is beyond me). Now lest you think that we are completely blind to her imperfections, let me tell you that this girl is indeed a natural born sinner. She can throw a tantrum with the best of them to which James and I look at her and just say, "Bu" (no). Usually she stops pretty quickly. When she is tired, she will do the full on drama queen Academy award winning performance. We have learned that we need to be careful when she gets like that because she will roll herself back and forth faster and faster to the point that we are afraid she will hurt herself. If we pick her up she will show that she does indeed have muscles and will use them to try to get away from us. After a while of holding her and patting her on the back, she will calm down. And then it's done, just like that.

Three good things today: 1) When she saw me first thing in the morning she laughed and wanted to be picked up. Before, she would just look at us as if to say, "You people again?" 2) I saw and spoke to my other kids who look really really big after being with this peanut for a week 3) No one walked away with my baby today!!!!!!

Love ya, miss ya, can't wait to come home (have I said that already??).

Empress Kara

Empress Kara
Monday 7pm

Hi all,
Today was a free day and that was a good thing for me. For those of you who saw me today, that was the most lively I've been all day. I have spent most of my day sleeping on our mini-king-sized slab. For those of you who think I am exaggerating about the bed, take the mattress off your bed and sleep on the box spring for a while, only that'd be cushy in comparison. Perhaps having these beds cuts down on the bed bug problem, because no bug in its right mind would inhabit something so uncomfortable.

Yesterday we actually saw the sun for the first time, which resulted in a mild sunburn for a few of us. We, along with perhaps ¼ of the world's population, visited the Forbidden Palace and Tian'anmen Square (which I think ironically means something about peace). The Forbidden Palace had some really beautiful buildings as well as lots of stairs. Since we were pushing Kara around in a stroller, we had to carry the stroller up and down the many sets of stairs. She thought it was loads of fun acting like the empress, being carried in her special carriage. She laughed every time it was done, as did many of the people witnessing her parents relegated to servitude.

We also went on a rickshaw tour through Hutong neighborhoods. The Hutong are traditional courtyard neighborhoods with houses very close together and some very narrow alleys between buildings. We visited the Wang's home (Mr. Wang looked very much like Jackie Chan which was a bragging point for him) which had some very modern conveniences to our surprise (three televisions, AC, washer and dryer, and three refrigerators). The Wangs also had three myna birds who could say "Ni hao." Apparently the first bird will say "Are you full?" The second will say "I am full." The third will say "I am already full." Going through the neighborhood, James and I noticed that there not many kids around. I guess the population control is working. And if you were wondering, the rickshaws are pulled by bicycles these days.

When it was time to leave, we found that we had lost one of the grandmas in Tian'anmen Square. Our guide, Joy, had earlier remarked that in her ten years of conducting tours she had only had one person get lost. We were still traveling with the other 17 families (who have their kids by now, hurray!) so we were a very large group. James and some other guys formed a search party and eventually found her. This is the same grandma who was with us in our grand adventure at the Chinese WalMart. While the search was going on, I had time to chat with one of the ladies who works for Bethany. She and another lady were in China to assess children at various orphanages to see which ones would be deemed "adoptable." She said it was a very heartbreaking job as she saw some very sick children who would never even survive the trip overseas. She did a little assessment on Kara as we waited and she noted that Kara has very weak muscle tone and that's why she walks like a drunken sailor (my scientific terminology). We have noticed that her neck is weak and so she often is looking down. When she falls she can catch herself most of the time with her arms, but a few seconds later, thunk goes her head to the ground. She just can't keep it upright enough to prevent it from hitting the ground. Thankfully she takes it in stride most of the time and just gets herself up and rubs her head (very cute to see).

Kara's head is also noticeably flat in the back which indicates she spent a lot of time laying on her back. Our guess is that she was delayed in her ability to roll over and consequently spent more time on her back than most babies. Oh yes, I have failed to mention the twice daily torture sessions. When Kara finally started to laugh (I think it was the second day we had her), we noticed that her teeth were terribly stained and coated with some icky yellow stuff. I tried to scrape it off to no avail (we'll be taking a trip to the dentist when we get home). To ensure that they don't get any worse, we (meaning James) have been brushing her teeth twice a day. She considers it pure torture which indicates that she has never had her teeth brushed before (and is also the reason why I make James do it, I simply want her to like me better, so there, I admitted it).

Some of you have asked if saying "Ting bu dong" has helped when people are speaking Chinese to me (which still occurs on a regular basis). Yes it has. I think my Chinese accent is so bad that it becomes painfully obvious I don't speak Chinese. And yes, people are still taking my baby away on a regular basis. Last night we went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant (shocking, I know) and a few of the waitresses just fawned over Kara (very normal occurrence). One decided to scoop her up out of her high chair and carry her around. Much to my satisfaction, Kara wanted to come back to me. Okay, yes, I was feeding her so that's probably why she wanted to come back to me. Hey, a person can dream, can't they? As an aside, we have made a few notes about the food. We found out that roasted duck is the specialty in Beijing. The term "Peking duck" means "Beijing duck" in Cantonese. If you are asked if you want a "large" drink and you say yes and the server acts surprised, you'll find out why. James ordered a papaya drink and wanted a large. When it came, it came in a pitcher. Unfortunately the juice was bland (as are most of the juices James has tried so far), so it wasn't a good thing. We've also found that often when you order chicken, the chicken has been chopped up with the bones making it very difficult to eat. And for the record, we did not order the "quick fried duck intestines" nor did we try the "duck chin." We were far less adventurous, Kara and I had soup, James had some chock full o' bones chicken.

Tomorrow we go to the Summer Palace. It looks like a bit of a drive, so I'm praying that Kara will do well on the ride. She was super yesterday and I'm sure a lot had to do with her getting a good nap as she was in her stroller getting the royal treatment. She also liked being in her own seat in which she finally had on a seat belt. It was way too big of course, so I had to hold the excess bit of belt. There are no car seats in any of the vehicles we've been in, so she has been riding on my lap. Yes, very nerve wracking. I think she's in for a bit of a shock when we get back to the states when she has to be strapped into a car seat. I'm sure it'll be the first shock of many, such as when she meets her Nephilim twin.

It has been soooooo good to see many of you on Skype. If any of you others get Skype let us know and we'll try to give you a call. Have I said yet that I'm ready to come home? The 13th of August, I've got my eye on the prize.

Ni hao from Beijing!

This post is actually from several days ago, but we couldn't get it posted until now.

Praise God, all went well getting to the airport (thanks Pam) and the flight went smoothly (once I felt the bump of the landing, a huge grin spread across my face. We had arrived!). We went from foggy cold SF to pea soup smoggy hot Beijing. When we deplaned and walked into the airport, we were greeted by an almost eerie silence. There was no Chinese version of Barry Manilow playing over the loud speaker. We are also guessing that the basket weave construction of the ceiling helps absorb the sound of footsteps echoing and luggage being dragged across the floor.

We got into Beijing at 5:00pm (8am your time) and finally got to our hotel around 8:30pm. Getting through customs was a breeze. We just showed our passport and visa and that was it. Oh yes, and there was the “thermoscan” we had to walk through to make sure we didn’t have a fever. We passed.

Getting through the city to our hotel was another matter entirely. I had to learn to suppress my gasping at all the close calls we had. Our driver knew how to handle the dodging and weaving of cars and busses to get through Beijing traffic (LA meet your match!).

We have seen the other two couples who are adopting from Beijing, and were able to talk briefly with one. This couple has 5 kids already, with two daughters with them on the trip. They’ll be adopting a 7 year old boy. They’ve had a crazy adoption journey as well, and I’m guessing that is par for the course.

Well James is already passed out on the smallest “king” size board, I mean, bed we’ve ever seen. I have to go downstairs to post this where we can get wireless access. Tomorrow breakfast after 6am, photocopying documents after 7am and then we head to the orphanage at 9am. I have two words about that last item….WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Kara has achieved rock star status

9pm Saturday

Today we had a great time touring around with the 17 other Bethany families who are here to pick up their children. The families will leave Beijing on Monday and will receive their precious ones the same day. Since Kara is only one of two little ones who have been adopted thus far, she has been getting a lot of attention from the “parents in waiting.” (Don’t look now, but soon she’ll be calling her people to tell your people when she’d like to do lunch.) These are just super families and I am so excited for them. We’ll meet up with them again in Guangzhou when we’ll get to meet their children.

We went to the Great Wall today which is a really great wall. Seriously though, it is amazing to see such an ancient site as part of a modern city. To coin a phrase from a well-know scholar, “the juxtaposition between the ancient and modern is intriguing” (thanks Mike). Not so great was the climb. Whoa Nelly, it is a very steep ascent…at least on one side. Like a bunch of sheep we just started climbing up where we saw a bunch of other people hoofing it. As we ascended we looked across the way and noticed that there was a much more gradual climb that had fewer people. Poor James had to carry the cutest bit of dead weight you’ve ever seen up and down. He needed windshield wipers for his eyes as he had sweat pouring down his face. He had a number of strangers taking pictures of him carrying the little sleeping bundle who could care less about this very important piece of history.

Kara did very well on the drive over, but on the drive back she fell asleep but then woke up crying loudly. She fell back to sleep only to repeat the cycle of crying and sleeping several times over. Very distressing when you’re stuck in Beijing traffic (yes on Saturday even) and you don’t know why she’s upset, nor do you know how to help her. On a different note, she still goes to anyone and today she was scooped up by at least three Chinese women who walked around with her speaking Chinese to her. I haven’t yet learned to say “Please do not take away my baby” in Chinese.

The longer we have her, the more evidence of institutionalization we see in her (for instance, when going to sleep she would get up on her hands and knees and rock herself back and forth. We figure that was how she comforted herself). The good news is that we see a little change for the better each day. We had a breakthrough today in which I could tell she was learning to trust us more. She usually gets very upset when she drops something or even if you take off her shoes. Our guess is that she has never owned anything, so she doesn’t think she’s going to get things back. She has this one ball she loves and usually gets upset if she drops it. Today she came over and handed it to me. I was thrilled and rolled it back to her. That became a simple game that I have never enjoyed as much as I did today.

Tomorrow is Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City and a rickshaw tour. Take my advice and if you can help it, don’t tour around with a baby, it is very challenging. We are enjoying seeing the sites, but we miss our kids greatly and want to get home so we can give Kara the things she really needs (like the rest of her family, immediate and extended). I also miss fresh leafy greens and homemade chocolate chip cookies. You know, the important stuff.

(And from James again) Yes this is a bit delayed. The logistics of getting this all taken care of isn’t always the easiest. As a result this latest post is already outdated since we’ve already been to the Great Wall & Tiananmen Square & the Purple Forbidden City. However, the writer that makes these things interesting is not feeling that hot & is rather tired, so you’ll just have to learn some patience! In the meantime, we’ll keep trying to catch you on Skype if you have it. Tomorrow morning (for us, your Sunday afternoon) may work for getting some Skyping done since we’re free tomorrow, no amazing historical sites to run off to.