Sunday – A Day of Rest…for whom??????

Well, I guess I am guilty of false advertisement. This blog entry is not about “What is heard in our household.” I figured I would write about one Sunday while it was fresh in my mind. Now here it is, almost two weeks later, getting staler by the day.

Let me preface my comments by saying that I am a firm believer in the veracity of Scripture. I believe every word of it is true. I also believe that there are things in the Bible which are yet to come to pass (like the world getting destroyed, stuff like that). For me, the Sabbath being a day of rest is one of those things.

The Sunday before last James was working, so I had to get the Froisland zoo on the move solo parentis. This is not a new thing for me, actually 2/3 of the time I am marshalling the troops alone. It’s just that some Sundays go smoother than others. This was not one of those Sundays.

The day started with the WTs rising for the day simultaneously. Kara announces she’s awake by calling out , “Mom! Dad!” until someone comes to get her (or until she rouses her sleepy sister with whom she shares a room). Micah starts the day yelling. I don’t know what he’s yelling, maybe he’s complaining about the conditions in his crib. Maybe he’s reciting the preamble to the Constitution. Whatever the case, he yells.

When the twins rise at the same time, it always causes difficulties in trying to get them downstairs. Suddenly every bedroom door becomes a revolving door. I’ll get one WT out of one room only to have to get another WT out of another room, and so on. Eventually I’m able to herd them downstairs, usually by bribing them with something (like chocolate Cheerios).

Unfortunately I did not get myself ready before the twins arose, which is my usual practice. So while the kids were eating breakfast (and the twins were restrained in their high chairs) I ran upstairs to get ready. When I was done, I came downstairs and instantly the words from one of my favorite kids’ books, “Five Minutes’ Peace” came to mind: “The children were having breakfast. It was not a pretty sight.” Clearly the shower I was in completely buffered any effects I would have felt when the hurricane, which had to account for the mess, ripped through my house. An entire box of Kix had been emptied onto the table and was on the floor. That was done by male WT who had been released from captivity by one of the 3OS. Female WT had shown her Frisbee throwing techniques by launching her bowl of cereal across the room (this was the first time the WTs had milk in their cereal, clearly it was much too exciting for Kara).

I stood there with mouth agape while the 3OS explained to me what had happened. I told them it was time to go and we’d (translated: “I”) would have to clean it up later. Now usually the 3OS can help me out when we’re trying to get out the door. I’ll dress one WT and hand him/her over to an OS to get shoes on. Not this day, as they all disappeared. Daniel had to lace his new shoes, Charis was struggling to get tights on, and Gabriel, well, I’m not sure exactly what he was doing, but he was probably going sock hunting. I got the WTs ready, the 3OS were ready, all I had to do was get on my shoes….the ones I left by the door…that were now gone. I looked down at my little Chinese Imelda Marcos shoe thief who I just knew walked off with my shoes. I’m not getting any info from her, she’s not admitting anything. I do a few laps around the house and finally find a matching pair.

We actually got to church on time (wow!) and had a wonderful service. When I went to pick up the twins, I had a good report, all was well. And then it was like someone whispered into the WTs’ ears that they were now officially pastor’s kids and should act accordingly. So they did. Pencils were being taken out of the backs of chairs, cookies were being swiped off the refreshment table, and worst of all, WTs were storming the stage. I was talking to a friend when I looked up and there were the WTs gleefully walking across the stage. The stage with very expensive musical instruments. The kind that can get knocked over by crazy toddlers. So I did something I have forbidden my children to do – I ran in church. Now to their credit, I will say that the WTs did stay inside like they are supposed to do. The male WT saved the going outside for last Sunday when he snuck out and played in the mud.

Once we got home I thought that lunch would be really quick as I just had leftovers to warm up. I had forgotten about the morning’s mess until I walked into the kitchen and saw Kara throwing cereal dust in the air like pixie dust. She didn’t fly, but I did pluck her off the chair so I could clean up the mess. Once I got that cleaned up, I started on lunch. Then it dawned on me, I had no microwave oven! Our built in microwave went out some time ago, so we were using an old one we had in the garage. That one went out too ( in a rather spectacular way at that). So I had to play “pioneer days” and warm up our leftovers in the oven. About 20-30 minutes later the food was ready. By that time the WTs were very hungry and very cranky and I pretty much walked with one on each leg.

I don’t really remember what happened after that, other than getting naps for the WTs in and going back to church that night. What I do know and am sure of, is that we were a tremendous blessing to people (especially moms) that day. How can I make such a boastful claim? Well, I think it is a safe bet that, as I was running across the church to retrieve wayward toddlers, many people raised their voices to Heaven and thanked God that they were not me! (And just for the record, being me is pretty okay sometimes :) )

Teepee, tent, and twins

Don’t be misled by the title. I did not take my toddlers to vandalize someone’s house, nor did I take them camping…yet. That’s this summer. Pray for us. Now.

The 3OS were playing outside (Actually they were digging a series of tunnels..for defense…should someone attack us while we are all in the backyard…in the winter. They were even making “dirt balls” to throw at unsuspecting trespassers. I guess it shows that they really enjoyed our study of WWI and trench warfare.) and I didn’t want the WTs out there (sounded like a trip to the emergency room to me). I had this bright idea to entertain the twins by putting up a play teepee. The kids on the box seemed to be having a great time, so I was sure the twins would enjoy it.

The teepee also comes with a tent. Both use poles. I brought the box downstairs and thought I could quietly put it together while the WTs were busy in the other room. I think they can smell fear. As soon as I had emptied the bag of poles out to try to figure out which belonged to the teepee, the WTs came charging in with a purpose. And we all know what that purpose was – torture the momma.

My first challenge was to keep the poles in one place. One of the WTs would grab one and run off. As soon as I caught up with one, the other was tearing off in the other direction with another. I finally got the poles in a pile and was trying to sort them. You put the poles together like “real” tent poles (they have the string in them). Well wouldn’t you know, the WTs figured out how to put them together. While I had my back turned reading the directions, they put a few poles together. If you heard the sounds, “Whack, whack, ow, whack, whack, ow,” that was me getting whacked in the head by the WTs.

Once I disarmed them, I began construction. Yup, me and my teepee. Nice idea, but it turns out I was missing one incy wincey piece that was rather crucial to the teepee’s well being. So it was ta-tah teepee and hello tent.

This time I made sure all the pieces were there before I tried to put the tent together. I found the right poles and tried to put them into the tent when Kara decided to plant her person right in the middle of the tent. I asked her to move over and she complied by moving her skinny little hindquarters about a fraction of an inch. I got up to help her move to another location and without missing a beat, Micah grabbed the tent and pulled it over his head with a very triumphant laugh.

After some more baby wrangling, I finally got the tent up and presented it with a flourish to the twins. Preparing myself for hours of fun and frolicking, I stood there and watched as the WTs scrambled in and flipped the tent over. Uproarious laughter ensued as I found myself staring at the bottom of the tent. I tried to upright it only to have it flipped again. More laughter which I think was aimed at me. Even the zhu zhu hamster toy started chortling, mocking me. In the end, I had to dismantle the tent because all the flipping caused the poles to bend into unnatural angles. I’ve decided that the WTs have a future as product testers. I figure if a product can survive the WTs, it can survive anything.