Home at last, home at last, thank God Almighty, they're home at last

Oh glorious day,  this was our first full day home as a family of eight.

The guys came in Thursday night at 6:00pm and C and I met them at the airport.  The WTs stayed with my parents.  C and I were almost beyond ourselves as we watched for our fellas.  A seismograph could have measured our nervous energy as we vibrated with excitement.  Finally we spotted them and I did my best to take pictures of them, but it's really hard for a camera to focus when its user is jumping up and down like a crazy person.  Then I lost it.  Yep, I had more blubber than a humpback whale.  It's no wonder that L.B. wanted nothing to do with me.  Here was this sobbing mess of a woman blathering on about "mama,"and pointing to herself! He had this look on his face that said, "I have a momma, and you ain't my momma, lady.  And by the way, let go of my Baba (Daddy)."

I was not in the least offended by his less than enthusiastic response to me.  He had had a foster  momma in China who undoubtedly cared for him very well.  I was a total stranger who was intruding on him and his people.

The response of the WTs to L.B. was priceless.  They both seemed to instantly grow about a foot, and they seemed to suddenly mature.  Here were two older siblings who acted the part. 

 Not super impressed by his closest older sister, who calls him yet another name,  "L.B."

 We were very shocked by the size difference between the boys, who supposedly are only three months apart in age.  In fact, L.B. is so much smaller than we imagined, we are going to have to buy some new clothes.  I donated almost all the size 2 clothes to the orphange James visited in Beijing! 

 There's L.B. with mister "Heart Breaker" himself

 Here's M being goofy as usual, doing some kind of ritualistic "welcome home" dance

 He allowed C to get closer...

...and warms up to M

 Daddy's home!!!!!

 Our first dinner as a family, a brief stop at my parents' before heading home

Once we got home, we put C and the WTs to bed.  The boys were not quite ready to go to bed, and L.B. was wide awake.  There were places to explore and toys with which to play.  There was also this very interesting machine...

 We should have given him some popcorn to go with his show.

 We discoved that he loves cars, of which we have plenty.  He played until we finally pulled the plug on the festivities at 1:00am.  He was not ready to go to bed, but we were.  This did not make him happy.  This guy loves to sleep, but does not like going to sleep.  He staged a protest, but Baba prevailed.  I wasn't about to force him to go to bed, I'm already on the "do not give any physical attention to" list.  He gave everyone a goodnight kiss but me.  All in good time.  Right now he tolerates me, which is better than outright rejecting me, right? I said, right????

The next day,  we had a great time catching up.  Here is K showing her big brother how much she missed him.  It's hard to believe we brought her home almost two years ago and went through this same adjustment process.  We have since learned that the process does take a lot of time, even when it's going well (which it wasn't as much when she first came home and M was her chew toy, she'd bite him about 6-7 times per day..it was rough).  It probably took a full year before we really felt that we had overcome the effects of institutionalization.

 I'm not sure what Mr. Bear has just said to G, but clearly he now needs the protection of Hello Kitty

 Dogpile on D

 Add another...

 This is either the "icing on the top," or "the straw that broke the camel's back"

You'll notice that L.B. is nowhere to be found.  When there's mayhem to be had, he steers clear.  So yes, he steers clear a lot.

The three of them played really well together, sometimes it was the WTs together without L.B., sometimes it was one of the WTs with L.B., sometimes they were all together.  They definitely treat him as the younger sib, and not an equal.  He's not a threat yet, but give him time.

There they are, either the triple trouble or the tremendous triplets.  Either way, their designation will be "the T2."  I will still refer to M and K as the WTs, because, well, some things are just meant to endure.

Today, the second full day of being home, we discovered what a parrot our little guy can be.  I was on the phone with a friend when I said, "Oh right...." I then hear L.B., who is playing with his Baba, start saying "Oh right, oh right."  He is very quick to copy what he hears, which is both good and bad.  I've already heard him tell C to "go away," which is a line straight out of the WTs lexicon (and which they are not supposed to say). 

We did get some sad news (for us) today when we found out that the little girl we were hoping to adopt was matched with another family.  It is bittersweet news as, as disappointed as we are, we are very happy that another family will be blessed by her.  It also means that God has someone else in mind, we just have to wait and see who it is. Now, judging by the two kids given to us via adoption, I'd say the wait will be worth it.  Kind of like the kiss that has still eluded me from my newest son.  No kisses for the momma, day 3.  Stay tuned.

One last picture before home

My father-in-law took this picture during a Skype call.  It's one last look at the fellas before they head back home! They leave tonight (11:30pm PST) and will finally be touching down on home turf at 6:00pm PST.

Of course C and I are very excited to have them coming home, while the WTs are somewhat hard to read.  They are enjoying sitting in LB's seat at the table, and in his brand-new carseat. I think they're wondering what's in it for them.  Good thing the boys are bringing back gifts for them, otherwise "just" getting a new brother would seem like a consolation prize.  You know, like getting plain underwear instead of Lightning McQueen or Hello Kitty underwear.  I did mean in the eyes of three-year-olds, but if the shoe (or other) fits.....

Next post: home at last!!!!!

On the home front..."The Taming of the Two"

Back on the homefront we are eagerly awaiting the return of our family.  We Skype twice a day, so LB is very familiar with us.  He says our names and loves to say "bye-bye."  Now he's added "wuv you" to his repertoire, to my great satisfaction . 

So how have the WTs been? Well, quite good, in large part, generally speaking, on the whole, with all things being considered.  Have we had our difficult moments? Uh, yeah, you could say that.  I think I should get a medal for all the victories I've won in the great "Battle of the Wills."  Those were some hard won victories.  You know, however, that they must be victories.  Sometimes I fantasize about being one of those moms you see in the grocery store that, after "counting to three" 4-5 times, finally gives in to her whining child "just this once."  But then that fantasy turns into a nightmare with my kids as guests on "The Jerry Springer Show" or "Dr. Phil." Thus, I press on.
If you've never been a fan of the "Superfriends" cartoon, which aired Saturday mornings, you might be unfamiliar with the original "Wonder twins."  Here is a clip on YouTube of the original WTs:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktUx57i63e0

I had an instance recently in which not one, but both of the WTs turned themselves into octupi (or octopuses or octopodes, all are now acceptable according to Mirriam-Webster http://boingboing.net/2010/07/27/octopuses-octopi-oct.html) (instead of an ice unicyle, which don't we all own?).  I took the WTs and C to the 99cent store (since we can't afford the dollar store, kidding, though this China trip is costing us) and forgot to have "the behavior talk" (BT) before entering.  Of course there were lots of people there and the WTs activated and took the form of octopodes, touching everything in sight.  I hastily gave a condensed version of the BT (also called the thinly veiled threat or TVT) and things improved.

The next time I took the WTs to the store, we had dropped off C at her karate lesson and I gave the BT before we entered the grocery store.  Well wouldn't you know, the WTs activated and took the form of well-behaved children!  They were helpful and stayed by the cart and I could see people casting admiring glances our way.  I would smile and then mutter under my breath, "Don't we have you all fooled???"  I could just imagine this conversation: Person 1: "I saw this lady in the grocery store who had two toddlers and they were so well-behaved! The mom must really know what she's doing."  Person 2:  "Really? I saw this crazy lady with two octopuses in the 99cent store, and somebody better take the keys to her zoo away from her!"

I gave M's belly a name because it seems to have a personality of its own (the sibs have given K's belly the name "Bessie").  M's belly's name is "George."  The other day M came back into the kitchen after dinner had been over for a while and announced "I don't feel well.  I ate too much and now George is full.  George is sad now."  The next night when M was about to have dessert, I reminded him not to eat too much so George wouldn't get sad.  M became very animated and said emphatically, "No, it's okay.  George likes being full.  He likes tummy aches.  He can rest for a little while longer, so it's okay."  I guess 5 minute mug cake is worth the trouble.  Here is the recipe, you judge for yourself.  (http://www.food.com/recipe/5-minute-chocolate-mug-cake-354827  Let me just warn you that a good friend of mine put the blame on me (for giving her this recipe) when her doctor told her she was putting on too many pregnancy pounds.  Dangerous stuff, it is.

Another step closer

That sums up today, another step closer.

We’re another step closer to going home. We mostly had to just wait through the day. Our tickets are for tomorrow and then we finally get to make the last step to our final city of this China Tour.

D with a new friend, G barely visible up to left

We’re another step closer because we got LB’s passport today! Now In Guangzhou we deal with the American side of things to make all this copasetic (satisfactory) on that front.

Dancing on the street corner

We’re another step closer as we seem to finally have a break through on the temper tantrums. Today he actually controlled himself enough that we actually were able to let him have what he wanted. After that happened a few times in a row, it seems like we may have progress on that front. Now it doesn’t happen every time, but…

At breakfast at our hotel in Zhengzhou

We’re another step closer from fear of the water. I gave him a bath the other day and he was really getting bothered by the rising water (the whole inch I let it get to in the tub. Today we went to the pool and the larger boys had a grand time. We went to a mostly empty hot tub with a remnant 4 inches of nice warm water in it. It was all I could do to get him to walk around in it. After a while he started throwing one of his tantrums, but couldn’t flop himself down as he likes since there was water there. He settled down after a bit when G came over and pulled him down into his lap. I thought “uh oh”, but after a few moments LB realized it wasn’t so bad, settled down, and started putting his hands in the water. It wasn’t long before he was having a grand time.

Looking the other way at the table

We’re another step closer to this family thing being a little more real to LB. He now gets excited when I ask if he wants to talk to Ma Ma (that’s the Chinese way of writing it in English characters) and he starts heading for the computer. He also gave kisses out for the first time. D got one first, and soon they were handed out to everyone, with a flourish! He gives a cute little quasi pucker, gets you on the lips, and then pulls away with a dramatic “Mwaaah!”

Taking great delight in putting his brother's clean underwear over his head

Finally, we’re another step closer to the day when he hopefully will grasp what it meant for him to be adopted into our family, and then hopefully understand even more what it means to be adopted as a son into God’s family.

O, and there’s one thing I don’t think we’re one step closer on, and that’s getting a translations any more accurate (or are they???)

It’s official!

Yup, today (6/4 China time, 6/3 CA time) we went back to the place where we originally picked up LB and had a LITTLE ceremony in which J and I were officially declared LB’s adoptive parents! I want to emphasize the LITTLE portion of the ceremony as I didn’t even realize we were having a ceremony until it was all over. I need to emphasize this so as to pave the way for my safety when I go home and the momma finds out there is no video of the event. All I got was a quick comment from our guide Daniel as she (yes, this Daniel is a she) along with two other ladies walked up to Jym and Allison, the other couple here in Zhengzhou with us, and I and said something to the effect of “we’ll have a ceremony.” As I am processing this the two ladies standing side by side hand me one red document holder and one to Jym and Allison.  I proceed to open the document holder and the two ladies say something in Chinese which Daniel then translates as “You’re now the official adoptive parents.” “All right!” I think, as  Daniel continues telling us that we need to make sure we hold on to that document as we will need it later at the police station. “Okay. Wait… that’s it?” Well, pray for my safety when I get home and have to try to explain it to the momma.

We then went to the notary. Okay, it’s hot and muggy here, but just doable enough so that I’ve never got much more than a little perspiration going. We start up the stairs and at each floor I keep being surprised because we keep going. Finally at the fifth floor we arrive. So I’m already uncomfortably hot from the mini workout. Then the room is a small office where there is just too much for little hands to get at. At one point LB is trying to get something and I stop him. Of course, as is his SOP, he throws a bit of a temper tantrum. Immediately the people in the office start scrambling to get him something. Next thing I’m being handed two Werther’s Originals. Hard candy, not something I feel comfortable giving a two year old who’s walking around, but even more important, I truly do not want to reward this behavior. I want to break it. So I have to say thanks but no thanks to the offer. I think they thought I was a horrible person based on the looks I was given (and in China they are never people to refrain from looking at you, okay, probably a better word would be stare. Every culture is different!) Anyhow, let’s just suffice it to say that little incident didn’t help to cool the air down for me any.

After that, we had a couple hours back at the hotel in which we Skyped and got some stuff to eat and then we met a different guide, Mr. Liu, down in the lobby to go to the police station where they take care of all the passports. In waiting for the man from the orphanage to get to the police station, Mr. Liu decided to go take us over to a place to get the half dozen or so pictures we needed for the passport process. Of course, this takes a bit of time as they have to have LB in just the exact position to get the exact photo they need, not really something you should expect from a two year old. Finally they are satisfied and we get to get up from all the picture taking. LB is walking around and starting to be a bit of a grump. At one point they stop him from getting something they don’t want him to have and again he throws a bit of an attitude. Now at this point, you need to realize we are well into nap time and I am happy he is doing as well as he is. A while later I was holding him and turned him so he was cradled in my arms. In about 30 seconds he was gone (kind of like he was right now when I laid him down for a nap!). Once we finished there, we went back to the Police Station. I’m struggling to hold this sweaty sleeping baby while trying to get paperwork out of my backpack, trying to sign things (it’s kind of like buying a house, just spread out over a longer time period), etc. Then the gal helping us wants to take his picture. Are you serious? You want me to waken this sleeping baby for a picture? Let’s just say once I tried waking him we had to leave the room for a while. Finally, I decided to try giving him some water to see if that would settle him. It worked briefly, just until we went back in to try the picture again. Then he started melting again. Please Lord?! I try the water thing again and this kid who, once he is done with something  makes it very clear he won’t have anything more to do with that item, actually goes for a second drink. In the brief pause after the drink we were able to get him in position and slip in a quick picture that was satisfactory. Thanks Lord!!

Then back for an actual nap.  I searched for the Korean BBQ place we saw on Google but to no avail, so we eventually ended up in some place with no English anywhere.  We’re all hungry and just decide to try it. Now why is it in some places they hand you the menu and stand there poised to take your order, and just about the time you finish looking at the pictures and decide on three to point to, you look up and they’ve disappeared?! So now I have this progressively melting down two year old (who we’ve determined is like M and does NOT do well post nap) despite my bringing Cheez-its to tide him over while we wait. (I learned that the hard way from our time at Pizza Hut the night before!) Finally a lady returns after I have made a multitude of attempts to get someone’s attention. We start pointing to pictures and all we’re getting in response is “No, no, no.” (Well at least they know that much English! Guess maybe I should work harder on my Chinese.) Finally after rejecting out first three choices, she walks away. I’m slightly confused and considering leaving, when she returns with a tray loaded up with all sorts of different dishes. Ahh, Dim Sum. (Okay, Why the menu then and why were you standing there to take my order???) So we choose four items and are finally able to get a growing fiasco back under control.

Since we’re nearby, we take another trip to WalMart and stock up on all sorts of different items, including several which just looked good, but we weren’t sure what they were. So far they’ve all been winners! I just finished some sort of peach milk thingy. Sweet, but very tasty and refreshing. As we left we some of the dancing that was occuring on three of the four corners of this one intersection, a very interesting Chinese phenomenon.  And then finally back to the hotel room for a very late night.

T-shirt saying of the day, Peace Free Keep Heart.

"Peace" on Gotcha Day

After not sleeping but a couple hours after I woke up thinking that I hadn’t changed out enough money, and then worrying about it for a while before finally getting up and doing something about it, and then wondering what I had done with the receipt for the all the Yuan I had wired, and for which they told me the receipt was as good as cash, and then finally getting up to look for that, and all the time constantly thinking back to what am I going to do with this new boy without his marvelous momma, and what do I do if he cries, and what is he going to eat, and am I going to be able to figure out when he needs to go to the bathroom, and… and… And the night was just like that sentence, it ran on and on. I should probably be napping now in the peace (LB is sleeping and D&G are watching a video) and quiet, but I doubt I’ll be awake later to do this and then I’ll get too far behind, and then I also need to get this room straightened up so LB doesn’t get into everything, and so I can leave him a little space in which to roam, and… and… Do you get yet that the peace is all around me, but not in me at the moment?

So what has happened since I didn’t sleep? Quick trip to the airport leaving the hotel at 0530 for a 0745 flight. About an hour & 20 to Zhengzhou, a short drive to the provincial govt. office, and before I could hardly get out of the van, I hear someone call out LB’s Chinese name, and then, “ You? He’s right here!” “Wait!” as I scramble back in the van, ”I don’t have the cameras and Mom will kill me!” In we go to a room maybe 30’x50’ and there are probably 30-40 people milling about with kids, people crying and laughing, and… where is he??????? Finally I spot the little Frankie wannabe (LB looks just like a good friend of D’s) in the arms of a man going across the room. “D, get the video going, he’s right there!”  D: “Where?” without a flinch of the camera. Me: “RIGHT THERE!” D: “Huh?” Yes, sometimes I want to strangle that boy! Finally (I’m sure it was all of a couple of seconds later!) D spots him and the video starts rolling. I’m glad I remembered that child, but I immediately forgot the other child (G)who was dutifully running around snapping photos to his heart’s content

LB was a little stiff when I first got him, but G got him some toys and in a few minutes we got a smile. (Of course D had obediently walked away to get some video of the other family with us so he was immediately recalled to duty on his primary mission) The smiles kept coming and soon the words. At first the words were quiet & subdued. During the ride to the hotel there was lots of laughter as he enjoyed being tickled and was thrilled by any big bumps in the road (let’s just say he was thrilled a lot!). Made it to the hotel where we were finally able to get our good friend, Cuddlebuns (aka” our oldest son” who’s actually MUCH older than I am [Now we’ll find out how often he reads the blog!]), on Skype via IM, to call the Momma to get on Skype so she can see her latest child in all his split pants glory. (If you don’t know what split pants are, let’s just suffice it to say that they allow one to stay clean and dry without the benefit of a diaper.) After a good chat with Momma & C and a brief one with the “oldest brother”, we took off and found an Italian place for lunch where LB had his first meal with us which was Spinach and Mozzarella Raviolis. Then back to the hotel for more signing of paperwork, and where we’re now enjoying just a few minutes peace( with just the occasional squeaking of him sucking the first two fingers of his left hand in his sleep.)

O and the best thing about split pants? They allowed LB to “express” his thoughts of the place just before we walked out the door to his new life!

Editor’s note: If you don’t quite get the whole “split pants” thing, here is an excerpt from a blog entry I wrote in 2010 when we were in Beijing (titled “The no good very bad parental units” August, 4, 2010):

Speaking of Chinese parenting, we have been surprised at the ubiquitous bare baby bottom. At the store, bare baby bottoms. On the street, bare baby bottoms. At the Forbidden City, not forbidden bare baby bottoms. Either the bottoms are completely bare or are peeking through the "split pants" that many of the babies wear. We asked Joy to reveal the story behind this phenomena. She said that the older generation does not think that it is good for babies to wear diapers in this hot weather. They fear the babies will become overheated and will get diaper rashes. This is apparently a hot topic on the internet for young parents. The bottom line (I am so cracking myself up) is that, because both parents often have to work, they rely on the older generation to care for their children while they are gone. Consequently the parents acquiesce and go along with it. And that's the naked truth, ar, ar.

 This guy has been "the voice" behind the camera that shot video of LB

 Here's LB not quite sure about this whole situation...

 Sideview of the splitpants (this is a "G-rated" blog, after all)

There's our boy!!!!

The Forbidden City or the Forever City?

Today, after passing briefly through Tiananmen Square (the world’s largest public square), we arrived at the Forbidden City. Constructed largely of material (logs and marble) that came from South China one to two thousand miles away, the logistics alone of building this massive place (about 2,000’ by 6,000’) is highly impressive.  When you’re tired from having climbed the Great Wall the day before, it seems rather daunting. As the only one other than the guide who had been there before, I was asked on several occasions, as we passed through another building into another courtyard before yet another building, if that building was the end yet.  I think I deflated them when I told them I thought we hadn’t yet gone a mile & it was more than that. Amazing places, but not something that can be well described by me or justified by any pictures, but here’s a small piece anyhow.

After that we went on a tour of a Hutong, a traditional but disappearing style of housing in Beijing.

 A honeymoon suite

In a more modern rickshaw, propelled by someone pedaling, not running

By the way most of these pictures were taken by Daniel & Gabriel.

Then a lunch with the group, some rest time and then dinner at KFC, oooh!, and an attempt at bed.

No good t-shirt sayings today, but I did like the name of one dish at KFC – Refreshing Funguses.

(Editor's note...Gotcha pictures are coming!! This is a slow process as James uploads the photos to me via e-mail and can attach only a few at a time.  I then upload it onto the blog once I go through the  4-5 e-mails to get a post.)