I wouldn't mess with that empress

I wouldn't mess with that empress
4pm Tuesday

Today we visited the Summer Palace that the royal families once used. Our guide told us the story of one empress who would give Hillary Clinton a run for her money (sorry if any of you are HC fans). This gal (who Joy referred to as "the dowager") was married to an emperor who died, leaving their four-year-old son to inherit the throne. Since he was too young to properly assume it, the dowager ruled in his place. The son was always sickly and died of TB before he could really begin to rule. His powerful mother continued to exert her power and chose a young person to become the next emperor. This guy wanted to enact reforms which the dowager was against. He was allowed to try and his efforts failed after 103 days. After that he was placed under house arrest until his death at age 31. His house arrest was not in any way comfortable. The windows and most doors were bricked up and he was not allowed outside. We saw where he was kept and he must have had a terrible existence. He did have a wife and concubine, but was not allowed to ever see them again. The scary dowager lady then appointed a seven-year-old boy to become the next emperor and then she died. Apparently it is this emperor that is depicted in the movie "The Last Emperor" which I am now interested in seeing. So there's your history lesson for the day.

I am thankfully feeling much better after my semi-comatose state yesterday. Without going into detail, let's just say that Montezuma can get his revenge in China too. Okay, you get the picture. I'm still a little light headed (enough with the air head jokes already, you people are so predictable!) and the tummy is not 100%, but definitely better.

We have discovered that many things are really cheap in China while other things really are not. A friend of ours had a cup of coffee the other day that cost $10. Our whole meal the other day which consisted of an entrée, a pot of soup, two bowls of rice and a coke, was about $9. If we wanted laundry done at the hotel (which we planned for as we were told that it'd be cheap here) it would be about $2 for one pair of underwear. I think it might be $10 for a shirt. Another family here just spent $100 on laundry. So we have made our own makeshift laundry mat in our hotel room. I had brought a little bottle of Dawn which is our dish soap and laundry soap. James discovered that what we are doing must be common, as he found a retractable clothesline in the bathroom.

One of our new favorite pastimes is reading people's shirts. It is very common to see people wearing shirts with English writing on it. Some of it makes sense, while other times it is a head scratching experience. The word "love" is a common word on shirts. A guy who took a group picture for us today had a shirt that said "Everyone love need." A few more entries in the fun shirt hall of fame: "Rock star RIP" (maybe it was supposed to be VIP?) "Go shop lovely sailors" and "Time flies so fast in busy daily life." Now before we can get all uppity, Joy says that when her friend travels she likes to take pictures of people's tattoos that have Chinese characters. According to Joy, some of the sayings are "very fun." So let's see, if you want to get a tattoo that says "Dragon slayer" in Chinese, would it really say "I'm a momma's boy?" Kara continues to live up to her name (which is Greek for Joy, for those of you who don't know). If I close my eyes to picture her, I can see her walking around laughing with her arms swinging back and forth. She has the most engaging smile and flashes it often. Her laugh is quite infectious and I defy you to not do the same when you hear it. A very common word people use to describe her is "beautiful" (maybe that's the only English word some people know, but hey we'll take it).

She is also becoming more of a female mini-Micah each day. She has discovered how to open and close cabinets and likes to pull down anything she can reach. She can also be very loud when she wants and her babbling has increased much to our pleasure. She can be very determined and tries very hard to get on the bed if I'm on it (why in tarnation she'd want to get on that thing is beyond me). Now lest you think that we are completely blind to her imperfections, let me tell you that this girl is indeed a natural born sinner. She can throw a tantrum with the best of them to which James and I look at her and just say, "Bu" (no). Usually she stops pretty quickly. When she is tired, she will do the full on drama queen Academy award winning performance. We have learned that we need to be careful when she gets like that because she will roll herself back and forth faster and faster to the point that we are afraid she will hurt herself. If we pick her up she will show that she does indeed have muscles and will use them to try to get away from us. After a while of holding her and patting her on the back, she will calm down. And then it's done, just like that.

Three good things today: 1) When she saw me first thing in the morning she laughed and wanted to be picked up. Before, she would just look at us as if to say, "You people again?" 2) I saw and spoke to my other kids who look really really big after being with this peanut for a week 3) No one walked away with my baby today!!!!!!

Love ya, miss ya, can't wait to come home (have I said that already??).

Empress Kara

Empress Kara
Monday 7pm

Hi all,
Today was a free day and that was a good thing for me. For those of you who saw me today, that was the most lively I've been all day. I have spent most of my day sleeping on our mini-king-sized slab. For those of you who think I am exaggerating about the bed, take the mattress off your bed and sleep on the box spring for a while, only that'd be cushy in comparison. Perhaps having these beds cuts down on the bed bug problem, because no bug in its right mind would inhabit something so uncomfortable.

Yesterday we actually saw the sun for the first time, which resulted in a mild sunburn for a few of us. We, along with perhaps ¼ of the world's population, visited the Forbidden Palace and Tian'anmen Square (which I think ironically means something about peace). The Forbidden Palace had some really beautiful buildings as well as lots of stairs. Since we were pushing Kara around in a stroller, we had to carry the stroller up and down the many sets of stairs. She thought it was loads of fun acting like the empress, being carried in her special carriage. She laughed every time it was done, as did many of the people witnessing her parents relegated to servitude.

We also went on a rickshaw tour through Hutong neighborhoods. The Hutong are traditional courtyard neighborhoods with houses very close together and some very narrow alleys between buildings. We visited the Wang's home (Mr. Wang looked very much like Jackie Chan which was a bragging point for him) which had some very modern conveniences to our surprise (three televisions, AC, washer and dryer, and three refrigerators). The Wangs also had three myna birds who could say "Ni hao." Apparently the first bird will say "Are you full?" The second will say "I am full." The third will say "I am already full." Going through the neighborhood, James and I noticed that there not many kids around. I guess the population control is working. And if you were wondering, the rickshaws are pulled by bicycles these days.

When it was time to leave, we found that we had lost one of the grandmas in Tian'anmen Square. Our guide, Joy, had earlier remarked that in her ten years of conducting tours she had only had one person get lost. We were still traveling with the other 17 families (who have their kids by now, hurray!) so we were a very large group. James and some other guys formed a search party and eventually found her. This is the same grandma who was with us in our grand adventure at the Chinese WalMart. While the search was going on, I had time to chat with one of the ladies who works for Bethany. She and another lady were in China to assess children at various orphanages to see which ones would be deemed "adoptable." She said it was a very heartbreaking job as she saw some very sick children who would never even survive the trip overseas. She did a little assessment on Kara as we waited and she noted that Kara has very weak muscle tone and that's why she walks like a drunken sailor (my scientific terminology). We have noticed that her neck is weak and so she often is looking down. When she falls she can catch herself most of the time with her arms, but a few seconds later, thunk goes her head to the ground. She just can't keep it upright enough to prevent it from hitting the ground. Thankfully she takes it in stride most of the time and just gets herself up and rubs her head (very cute to see).

Kara's head is also noticeably flat in the back which indicates she spent a lot of time laying on her back. Our guess is that she was delayed in her ability to roll over and consequently spent more time on her back than most babies. Oh yes, I have failed to mention the twice daily torture sessions. When Kara finally started to laugh (I think it was the second day we had her), we noticed that her teeth were terribly stained and coated with some icky yellow stuff. I tried to scrape it off to no avail (we'll be taking a trip to the dentist when we get home). To ensure that they don't get any worse, we (meaning James) have been brushing her teeth twice a day. She considers it pure torture which indicates that she has never had her teeth brushed before (and is also the reason why I make James do it, I simply want her to like me better, so there, I admitted it).

Some of you have asked if saying "Ting bu dong" has helped when people are speaking Chinese to me (which still occurs on a regular basis). Yes it has. I think my Chinese accent is so bad that it becomes painfully obvious I don't speak Chinese. And yes, people are still taking my baby away on a regular basis. Last night we went out to eat at a Chinese restaurant (shocking, I know) and a few of the waitresses just fawned over Kara (very normal occurrence). One decided to scoop her up out of her high chair and carry her around. Much to my satisfaction, Kara wanted to come back to me. Okay, yes, I was feeding her so that's probably why she wanted to come back to me. Hey, a person can dream, can't they? As an aside, we have made a few notes about the food. We found out that roasted duck is the specialty in Beijing. The term "Peking duck" means "Beijing duck" in Cantonese. If you are asked if you want a "large" drink and you say yes and the server acts surprised, you'll find out why. James ordered a papaya drink and wanted a large. When it came, it came in a pitcher. Unfortunately the juice was bland (as are most of the juices James has tried so far), so it wasn't a good thing. We've also found that often when you order chicken, the chicken has been chopped up with the bones making it very difficult to eat. And for the record, we did not order the "quick fried duck intestines" nor did we try the "duck chin." We were far less adventurous, Kara and I had soup, James had some chock full o' bones chicken.

Tomorrow we go to the Summer Palace. It looks like a bit of a drive, so I'm praying that Kara will do well on the ride. She was super yesterday and I'm sure a lot had to do with her getting a good nap as she was in her stroller getting the royal treatment. She also liked being in her own seat in which she finally had on a seat belt. It was way too big of course, so I had to hold the excess bit of belt. There are no car seats in any of the vehicles we've been in, so she has been riding on my lap. Yes, very nerve wracking. I think she's in for a bit of a shock when we get back to the states when she has to be strapped into a car seat. I'm sure it'll be the first shock of many, such as when she meets her Nephilim twin.

It has been soooooo good to see many of you on Skype. If any of you others get Skype let us know and we'll try to give you a call. Have I said yet that I'm ready to come home? The 13th of August, I've got my eye on the prize.

Ni hao from Beijing!

This post is actually from several days ago, but we couldn't get it posted until now.

Praise God, all went well getting to the airport (thanks Pam) and the flight went smoothly (once I felt the bump of the landing, a huge grin spread across my face. We had arrived!). We went from foggy cold SF to pea soup smoggy hot Beijing. When we deplaned and walked into the airport, we were greeted by an almost eerie silence. There was no Chinese version of Barry Manilow playing over the loud speaker. We are also guessing that the basket weave construction of the ceiling helps absorb the sound of footsteps echoing and luggage being dragged across the floor.

We got into Beijing at 5:00pm (8am your time) and finally got to our hotel around 8:30pm. Getting through customs was a breeze. We just showed our passport and visa and that was it. Oh yes, and there was the “thermoscan” we had to walk through to make sure we didn’t have a fever. We passed.

Getting through the city to our hotel was another matter entirely. I had to learn to suppress my gasping at all the close calls we had. Our driver knew how to handle the dodging and weaving of cars and busses to get through Beijing traffic (LA meet your match!).

We have seen the other two couples who are adopting from Beijing, and were able to talk briefly with one. This couple has 5 kids already, with two daughters with them on the trip. They’ll be adopting a 7 year old boy. They’ve had a crazy adoption journey as well, and I’m guessing that is par for the course.

Well James is already passed out on the smallest “king” size board, I mean, bed we’ve ever seen. I have to go downstairs to post this where we can get wireless access. Tomorrow breakfast after 6am, photocopying documents after 7am and then we head to the orphanage at 9am. I have two words about that last item….WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Kara has achieved rock star status

9pm Saturday

Today we had a great time touring around with the 17 other Bethany families who are here to pick up their children. The families will leave Beijing on Monday and will receive their precious ones the same day. Since Kara is only one of two little ones who have been adopted thus far, she has been getting a lot of attention from the “parents in waiting.” (Don’t look now, but soon she’ll be calling her people to tell your people when she’d like to do lunch.) These are just super families and I am so excited for them. We’ll meet up with them again in Guangzhou when we’ll get to meet their children.

We went to the Great Wall today which is a really great wall. Seriously though, it is amazing to see such an ancient site as part of a modern city. To coin a phrase from a well-know scholar, “the juxtaposition between the ancient and modern is intriguing” (thanks Mike). Not so great was the climb. Whoa Nelly, it is a very steep ascent…at least on one side. Like a bunch of sheep we just started climbing up where we saw a bunch of other people hoofing it. As we ascended we looked across the way and noticed that there was a much more gradual climb that had fewer people. Poor James had to carry the cutest bit of dead weight you’ve ever seen up and down. He needed windshield wipers for his eyes as he had sweat pouring down his face. He had a number of strangers taking pictures of him carrying the little sleeping bundle who could care less about this very important piece of history.

Kara did very well on the drive over, but on the drive back she fell asleep but then woke up crying loudly. She fell back to sleep only to repeat the cycle of crying and sleeping several times over. Very distressing when you’re stuck in Beijing traffic (yes on Saturday even) and you don’t know why she’s upset, nor do you know how to help her. On a different note, she still goes to anyone and today she was scooped up by at least three Chinese women who walked around with her speaking Chinese to her. I haven’t yet learned to say “Please do not take away my baby” in Chinese.

The longer we have her, the more evidence of institutionalization we see in her (for instance, when going to sleep she would get up on her hands and knees and rock herself back and forth. We figure that was how she comforted herself). The good news is that we see a little change for the better each day. We had a breakthrough today in which I could tell she was learning to trust us more. She usually gets very upset when she drops something or even if you take off her shoes. Our guess is that she has never owned anything, so she doesn’t think she’s going to get things back. She has this one ball she loves and usually gets upset if she drops it. Today she came over and handed it to me. I was thrilled and rolled it back to her. That became a simple game that I have never enjoyed as much as I did today.

Tomorrow is Tiananmen Square, the Forbidden City and a rickshaw tour. Take my advice and if you can help it, don’t tour around with a baby, it is very challenging. We are enjoying seeing the sites, but we miss our kids greatly and want to get home so we can give Kara the things she really needs (like the rest of her family, immediate and extended). I also miss fresh leafy greens and homemade chocolate chip cookies. You know, the important stuff.

(And from James again) Yes this is a bit delayed. The logistics of getting this all taken care of isn’t always the easiest. As a result this latest post is already outdated since we’ve already been to the Great Wall & Tiananmen Square & the Purple Forbidden City. However, the writer that makes these things interesting is not feeling that hot & is rather tired, so you’ll just have to learn some patience! In the meantime, we’ll keep trying to catch you on Skype if you have it. Tomorrow morning (for us, your Sunday afternoon) may work for getting some Skyping done since we’re free tomorrow, no amazing historical sites to run off to.

She's official!!!

4pm Friday (our time)

We have in our possession the certificate of adoption that says we are the parents of Kara Kimiko Froisland! She is legally ours as of this afternoon. And since she is a Froisland now, she has decided to act like a Froisland. Now that her walking is getting better, that’s all she wants to do. She has decided to become a very busy little girl. You all can pray for me now since those who don’t even know Micah say, “You are going to have your hands full when you get home!” She protests loudly when she is not able to walk (like when we are taking those loooooong drives) or does not have food in her mouth as soon as she wants it.

Tomorrow is the Great Wall tour and an hour and a half drive (ugh). It’s going to be interesting. We have to try to climb the wall with a two year old (can’t take the stroller) and we left the baby frontback at home. Bad move.

Fun translation quote of the day: (from the Beijing orphanage pamphlet) “This is where the children with cerebal palsy can receive daycare, prevention and health care, disinfection and growth monitoring services.” Gotta disinfect those babies!
BTW, I learned to say “Ting bu dong” which means “I don’t understand.” I’m going to try it out today when we go to the Hypermarket since people will speak Chinese to me. I learned today that throwing your hands up in the “I don’t know” position is not a Chinese gesture. Now I know that people think I’m crazy when not only do I not respond when spoken to, but I start gesticulating like a lunatic. I’ll let you know how it goes.

Scary Beijing moment

Ni zao (good morning)! It is almost 6am on Friday for us. James is off running the stairs (I’ve already walked them), which is not a stairmaster, but the stairwell next to our room. The hotel has 27 floors, but it is really 25 floors as the 13th and 14th floor are non-existent. We’re guessing 13th is for Americans, 14th because the number 4 is bad luck in Chinese (but we have a 4th floor and a 24th floor, must have been easier to just have two floors in a row disappear).

Today is another scheduled day consisting of applying for Kara’s passport and completing our adoption registration. That will take us past lunch today. Part of the reason things take so long is because of the time it takes to get anywhere. We asked how long it will take to get to the governmental office we’ll visit today. Our guide, Joy, said “45 minutes, but 10 minutes with no traffic.” Well, we have yet to see the mythical “no traffic.” By the way it’s supposed to be 100 plus degrees today, with a billion percent humidity (seriously, I’m sure that’s what the weather channel would say).

Kara has been laughing more and seems to find walking almost freeing. She walks with her legs wide apart and falls quite a bit. At one point when we were in our room she would walk from one end to the other, back and forth. I was her usual point of reference as she would walk toward me laughing and then walk away and come back and repeat the process. We enjoyed that quite a bit and felt that maybe she was really comfortable with us…until we got to the lobby (insert “dum tee dum tee dummmmmmmm”).

As we were trying to Skype the kids from the lobby, a lady sitting near us started to talk to Kara in Chinese. That set Kara off. She started to cry and wriggle out of our arms and then went to the other lady. The lady scooped her up and promptly walked off with her. We knew she wasn’t stealing her as the gal was part of some conference at the hotel. But still, there went our baby who was then passed to another lady! We felt helpless as Kara seemed to be comforted by them. She finally came back to us, but was clearly stressed by the whole situation. We talked to our guide about it and she said that Kara is probably very confused and wants to go back to what she knows (which is the orphanage). Confidence level…descending…rapidly…..

Thankfully we were able to rent a stroller (which she enjoyed) and be off to exchange money at the bank. As an aside, the whole deal with the crisp clean 100s is no joke. One of the dads here tried to exchange one bill that was crisp, but had the tiniest pen mark on it that he never saw until it was pointed out to him (as it was being rejected).

So our scary Beijing moment...
We decided to venture out to go to another store which is supposed to be like a WalMart. I wanted to get Kara shoes that fit (and did not squeak) and our friendly local market (called Hypermarket, mind you) did not carry any (but it carries plenty of “love fish” which I guess is just dried fish…that you love?). We went with Pat, a grandma that came with one of the families. We brought a card that had the name of our destination on it as well as the hotel name and address. Another card we had included a map of how to get to the hotel. We did our shopping at this store which was like WalMart on psychedelic drugs. We ate at Pizza Hut (we got a normal pizza instead of venturing out and getting the one with octopus) and then tried to get a taxi to come back. Did you get the “tried” part? When we’d finally get a taxi to pull over, the driver would shake his head “no” when James would show him the hotel card. So here we are far from our hotel, sweating profusely in the oppressive heat, carrying our baby, and it is almost 9pm. As the third taxi refused us, a guy pulls up in a car and motions that he can drive us. He has stickers on his windshield that make me think that maybe he’s a hired driver of some sort, but how can we know? He offers to take us for 30 yuan (we paid 18 to get to the store). We say no, and then are promptly refused by a fourth taxi. The driver has stuck around and watched us getting refused and makes his offer again. Taking our proverbial chances, and out of desperation, we agree to go with the guy. I am of course praying like crazy that we will not be driven into an alley and be robbed for being goofy Americans (and me for not knowing Chinese when clearly I should!). I am sweating it (literally and figuratively). Ah, but lo and behold, we spot our hotel. Hip hip hooray! We said “good job” and James patted him on the back, which made him laugh. So the guy went from being a psychotic serial killer to being a guardian angel.

BTW, I got the 411 on the non-stop eating thing Kara was doing. Joy said that since we are strangers to Kara, she does not know if we will feed her again so she will keep eating like it’s her last meal. Joy said, as we had already figured out, that we need to stop her from eating too much. Joy also said that older kids will often hoard food for that same reason.

Okay just expect long posts from me, cause, after all, it’s from me!

And now some words from the quieter one:

Yes there are the missing 13th & 14th floors, but there are also the -1 & -2 floors as they label them. In total, 627 steps. And with the top few floors even more closed up than the rest, the temps really get oppressive there.

BTW – If you want to see Julie at a loss for words, start rattling off to her in Chinese. All she can say is “English! English!”, much to the confusion of the local populace.

The Wait is Over

The wait is over!

Whew, it’s been a long and exhausting day. James and I are worn out and it’s only 8pm. But across the room from me in a portable crib is the newest Froisland( to be) sleeping peacefully. Oh the bliss…

Our day started at 5am, which we thought was 6am until we realized an hour and a half later that James had set the clocks incorrectly. We left at 9am to go to the orphanage. It is a long process (and a white knuckle experience) to get anywhere on the crowded streets, and it seemed even longer as we knew what was waiting at our destination.

The orphanage is actually 2 huge buildings, one of which is primarily for special needs kids. We were led to a room to wait and to handle more paperwork. It was at that time we realized they had misspelled my name on the travel invitation (Juile) and a new one had to be issued. Thankfully, because we were in Beijing, it was not a huge issue to get a new one. (Interestingly enough, when we get home I have to mail back the travel invitation I have at home. Because it is an official document they want it back.) When we picked up the new one I was able to go into the government office that issues them. As the lady was looking over my passport and matching it with the new travel invitation, I looked on the floor and saw a huge stack of travel invitations. It was wonderful to think that each piece of paper represented another child that was going home to a family.

Waiting in the room for our babies was of course tough. We were waiting for some official to come and make a pronouncement or something, when in walked a 7 year old boy with no fanfare or warning. What a darling boy, full of smiles as he came to his new family. Now all of us were in tears watching him hug his new parents. The eagerness level was now ramped up to code level red. Our hearts went thumpity thump as we saw movement in the crack of the door. Finally, in came two little girls being carried. We were not sure at first which was Kara, but then after a closer look (and me inwardly screaming, “Can I have her pleeeeeeease?????”) I knew that the wee little thing in the white pants and yellow top and squeaky shoes (purposely so, to our dismay) was our sweet girl.

She was led to us (squeaking all the way) and tears streaming down our faces (at which she looked at us warily, for good reason) we introduced ourselves as “Mama” and “Baba.” Then we held her. Have you ever had joy fill your soul? If you’ve ever had children, you know what I’m talking about. Thank you Lord, neither of the two little ones (the other one is 16 months old and is missing part of her right foot) cried (though the 16 month old turned out to be quite the character…she would cry loudly when put down. Kids learn fast to manipulate!).

The rest of the day included getting a family photo for the adoption registration, getting a quick lunch, going to the adoption registration, and going shopping at a multi-purpose store (veeery interesting experience). James gets lots of looks as he carries around Kara. Me? I get spoken to in Chinese (hellooooo, don’t you know your own people?).

I know you all want to know what Kara is like (we call her Tongtong Kara for now). Well, she is pretty much the opposite of her “twin” brother. She eats anything we give her as she has not learned to be picky. We also think it’s a response to being institutionalized. We were told that the kids will eat tons the first 3-4 days if you let them. At one point she was drinking water from a bottle and was downing the thing. After halfway through the second one, I told James that I don’t think she knows when to stop. I don’t think she has an internal shut off valve (that we adults tend to ignore when we’re eating something really yummy). She’s also a dainty eater. I gave her some Cheerios and she took at least 3-4 bites out of each “O”. What will she do when she sees her brother Conan the barbarian seeing how big of a chunk he can stuff in his mouth before choking? Kara is also extremely quiet. She does not babble. We have heard her laugh (which sounds like the finest melody you’ve ever heard) and she has cried once (James scared her when she knocked over something and James let out a gasp). She is content to sit on our laps, be held, and sit on the floor playing with her shoes. Her walking is not the best, but she can toddle along (I made that a verb, don’t know if that’s legit). We also discovered she does not like being left alone. James was downstairs where we can get wireless access and I went into the bathroom. When I came out I passed by her to get something and she let out a tiny whimper before heading straight for me with arms held out. I’d like to think that I was of comfort to her because she knows I’m her mother, but I know that right now anyone would be of comfort to her. Hey, I’ll take this any day over her trying to get away from this stranger!

Sorry this post is so long. We also had technical difficulties so I am now finishing this at 5:30 am on Thursday. Our little one is still sleeping, poor baby. Quite a day for her yesterday. It’ll be one she will not remember, but one we will never forget.

(And now a note from the quiter & less verbose one of the couple)
Actually, I heard her make more noise. She made this cute cooing type of noise, particularly in seeing bright colors or most especially when seeing the babies on the diapers we were checking out. This is the advantage one gets when carrying this cute little bundle of Kara (remember, that means joy!). The disadvantage is aching arms and sweat pouring down one’s back. It is kind of funny being the one stared at, being given continual curious looks. That is normal when I’m walking around in Ranch 99 (a Vietnamese market in SJ), but the difference this time is the beaming smile I get from a lot of the people. Well, being the technical one of this couple (don’t laugh too hard Rick!), I guess I should hurry up and get done so I can get this loaded up, attempt to get videos loaded, and try to get the camera to work for Skype. Miss y’all!